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10% Happier with Dan Harris

Can You Really Conquer Hatred Through Love? | Father Gregory Boyle

10% Happier with Dan Harris

10% Media, LLC

Dan Harris, Health & Fitness, Mindfulness, Dharma, Mental Health, Meditation

4.612.2K Ratings

🗓️ 22 August 2022

⏱️ 70 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

The idea of loving people no matter what— no matter how obnoxious or unacceptable their behavior is can sound simultaneously treacly and downright impossible. 


But today's guest Father Gregory Boyle talks about the practicality of this idea by showing how the concept of loving no matter what can be used as a tool— not to condone bad behavior but to help see people as doing their best, no matter how unskillfully. 


Father Gregory Boyle is a Jesuit priest who founded a remarkable organization called Homeboy Industries, which is the largest gang intervention, rehabilitation, and reentry program in the world. He has a new book out called, The Whole Language: The Power of Extravagant Tenderness


In this episode we talk about:

  • How Homeboy Industries began 34 years ago
  • Boyle’s practices for working with stress 
  • What he means when he says you have to put death in its place
  • Motivating people through joy rather than admonition
  • How to catch yourself when you’re about to demonize or be judgmental
  • How to set boundaries
  • How to dole out consequences without closing the doors to anybody
  • And we talk about Father Boyle’s quite expansive and inclusive notion of God



Content warnings: There are mentions of sensitive topics including, sexual trauma, violence, drug abuse and domestic abuse. 


Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/father-gregory-boyle-486

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Transcript

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0:00.0

This is the 10% happier podcast.

0:06.4

I'm Dan Harris.

0:08.8

Hey, everybody.

0:11.7

When I first heard about today's guest, I was a little skeptical slash dismissive.

0:17.8

But ultimately his work has had a genuinely profound impact on my work and on my life.

0:23.3

And that was only reinforced by this interview that you're about to hear.

0:27.7

Just to go back in time a little bit here, a book by, I guess, today, Father Gregory Boyle

0:32.8

was first recommended to me by Joseph Goldstein, who many of you will know.

0:37.4

He's the great meditation teacher who's been on this show many times.

0:41.0

And as I said, my initial reaction was negative because as you can tell by his name, Father

0:46.1

Boyle is a priest.

0:48.0

It's not that I'm hostile to priests or to religion.

0:51.1

I spent many years covering faith and spirituality when I was a correspondent at ABC News.

0:56.9

It's more that as a skeptic who was raised by atheist scientists in the people's Republic

1:03.2

of Massachusetts, I generally don't think of organized religion as a source of practical

1:09.0

answers to my problems.

1:10.9

My resistance to Father Boyle was exacerbated by the fact that the argument that he was advancing

1:15.6

in his book, or at least the argument that Joseph was latching onto from Father Boyle's

1:20.3

book, was that it is possible to love people no matter what, no matter how obnoxious or

1:26.1

unacceptable their behavior is.

1:28.8

To me, that sounded simultaneously, trickly and impossible.

1:33.6

But Joseph made a compelling case.

...

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