This is an I-Heart podcast.

Coming up at the top of the hour, about four minutes after, it's my strawberry letter for today.

Subject doggy style lifestyle.

Oh, ho.

Uh-oh.

Not what you think.

Come here.

Down boy.

Down boy.

Down boy.

Down boy, down boy, down boy, down boy, down boy, down boy. Okay. It is April Fool's Day today, though, and the nephew is here with today's Frank Funkoff. What you got now?

Can you fix my roof? Now, that don't sound harmful, right? That's why I said, oh, okay, that's nice, yeah. Can you fix my roof? That's all I ask. Is it leaking or something? That's some issue. I'm just saying, though, but can you fix my roof? That's all I want to know. Look at my face. I know. I know. I know. I know. I always looking looking for that hard left where you going with it, though.

And it's always there, Tommy. Well, well, get ready for the hard left. Here we go. Can you fix my roof? Let's go, Cat Dog.

Hello? Hello. I'm trying to reach Eduardo. This is Edward. Eduardo, how you doing, man? I'm one of your neighbors, man. I'm actually like two streets over. I wanted to see if you could come around here, man, to help me out, man. I got a leak in my roof. Are you able to come around the corner real quick and see about fixing my roof? Who is this? Hey, this Sammy, man. I live like two streets over from you. You're Eduardo, right?

Yes, is it, Wardo?

Okay, hey, I need you to, I got a leak in my roof, man. I want to see if you can come around here and take a look at my roof. A leak in your roof? What does that have to do with me? No, no, I got a leak in it. It doesn't have anything to do with you, but I wanted to see if you could come around here and fix it for me.

How did you get my number, man? I mean, where do you think I would fix your roof? I got your number from one of the neighbors, but you're, you're Hispanic, right? Yeah, no, I'm Hispanic. Well, I'm not from Hispanic. I'm Mexican. That's what you're asking.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm American, Mexican, American. I mean, are you trying to be funny or what, what are you talking about? Why do I got to go fix your roof? I mean, what are you talking about? Don't know all Mexican people know how to do rules? You know what, man?

Don't talk to me like that.

I'm an educated Mexican.

I'm your worst nightmare, bha.

Who the fuck do you do? You know what, man? Don't talk to me like that. I'm an educated Mexican.

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