Are you feeling frustrated because someone you love is stuck in harmful behaviors or ways of doing things that are not good for them?

And you've been trying to encourage them to get help and work on things, but they just are so resistant.

Well, I know this is a frustrating place to be in, but here's the reality. You can't change people.

But it is also absolutely true that people can change and grow.

The art here is learning how to support the growth of others while also

making space for their own process. And that's what we're talking about on today's episode of

love, happiness, and success.

We're listening to the late, great Elliot Smith. The song is Meadle in the Hay, which I chose for us today because it really tells the story of someone who is spiraling down, frustrated friends and family, and nobody can really connect with them.

You've probably done everything that you can think of, right?

From offering advice to trying to fix the situation or even stepping in to take control to help them.

And yet nothing changes because you can't change people.

And this is something that I wanted to share, and I know this is both difficult and empowering.

People absolutely change and grow, but it must be intrinsically motivated. So intrinsic

motivation is what happens when a person is motivated from within, meaning that no amount of

talking or pushing or even helping on your part are going to make changes that stick

unless it is truly something that they want for themselves and it is self-generated.

So what do you do when someone that you love and care about is just stuck in these ways

of being that are maybe even making it

hard for you to maintain a relationship with them. First of all, you really need to focus on what

you can control, meaning your own boundaries and your own well-being. And the second thing

to remember and what you really need to understand,

is that their change is going to come from intrinsic motivation only, and that it is going to follow

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