You're listening to Away with Words, the show about language and how we use it.

I'm Martha Barnett.

And I'm Grant Barrett.

I was reminded again this week that in English we have a lot of these cute little phrases that we use to exchange words with strangers,

things that we say like hot enough for you or have a nice day.

But the thing that they say to me now, now that I keep my head basically

bald, is things about my baldness. I was at an outdoor concert here in San Diego, beautiful weather,

but sunny, so I put some sunscreen on the top of my head, which is basically bald. Yeah, that's a good

idea. Good practice. And a fellow comes up to me and asks to borrow the sunscreen.

And then he said to me something like,

what was on top has left and I can't get it back.

What's on my back is all that's left.

To which I replied, a busy road grows no grass.

And then he replied, it's a solar panel for a sex machine.

And so it turns out, if you Google this, there are a ton of these expressions that bald people

become accustomed to saying because people can't stop commenting on the state of your head.

It's like, it's the male equivalent of being pregnant. They can't not say anything. They feel compelled. Do they want to help? What I should have said, and this is one of my favorites, God only made so many perfect heads, the rest he covered in hair. So there's a ton of this stuff. Grant, are you considering going to the Baldus Beautiful Convention in Moorhead, North Carolina, Moorhead City? I'm not committed to making it a lifestyle.

It's just my hair. I don't invest a lot of personality into my hair.

But I wanted to share a quote with you that I found when I was Googling bald expressions and bald funny lines.

And this is from Jorge Luis Borges, who was talking about the 1982 Falklands War between the UK and Argentina.

And he said, it's a fight between two bald men over a comb.

Oh, that Borges, that's perfect.

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