Can a Marriage Survive Porn Addiction?
Consider Before Consuming
Fight the New Drug
4.8 • 779 Ratings
🗓️ 18 February 2026
⏱️ 58 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Matthew Raabsmith is a certified professional coach and relationship specialist, and Joanna Raabsmith is a licensed marriage and family therapist who specializes in trauma and betrayal recovery. Together, they co-lead The Raabsmith Team and help couples rebuild connection after addiction and relational pain.
After pornography addiction and secrecy deeply impacted their marriage, Matthew and Joanna began a recovery journey that transformed both their individual lives and their relationship. In this episode, they share what porn addiction actually did to their emotional intimacy, how betrayal trauma affected Joanna’s sense of safety and identity, and why stopping porn was only the beginning of healing.
They address questions many couples quietly wrestle with: What does pornography do to a marriage over time? Can a relationship survive porn addiction? What is betrayal trauma, and why does it feel so devastating?
Matthew and Joanna explain why honesty must come before trust, why rushing forgiveness can create more harm, and what sustainable recovery really looks like for both partners.
Whether you’re navigating betrayal, struggling with porn use, or hoping to build a healthier relationship in the future, this conversation offers clarity and grounded hope.
Episode Resources:
- Article: When Porn Use Shatters Trust: A Therapist Explains Betrayal Trauma
- Video: Our Experience on Porn Recovery and Betrayal Trauma
- Podcast: Consider Before Consuming Ep. 94: Dr. Jill Manning
- Matthew and Joanna's Website: The Raabsmith Team
This episode is sponsored by Relay, a secure peer-support app that connects you with a small group of people who understand what you’re going through and help you stay accountable on your journey to quit porn. CBC listeners can try Relay free for 7 days when they sign up at http://ftnd.org/joinrelay
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Here at Fight the New Drug, we talk a lot about the impact pornography can have on mental health, |
| 0:06.6 | relationships, sexual health, and the world around us. And if you've felt that impact personally, |
| 0:12.5 | it's important to know this. You're not alone. That's why Relay exists. Relay is an app designed |
| 0:18.6 | to give you real support as you work toward lasting change. It connects you |
| 0:22.6 | with a small, private group of people who understand what you're going through, people who show up when it matters. |
| 0:28.6 | Relay isn't about shame or judgment. It's about accountability, encouragement, and learning how to move |
| 0:33.9 | forward together. And if anonymity matters to you, Relay has you covered, no names, just support. |
| 0:40.3 | If you're ready to stop doing this alone, try Relay for free today at FtnD.org |
| 0:46.3 | forward slash join Relay. Today's guests are Matthew and Joanna Rabsmith. |
| 1:04.4 | After pornography addiction and secrecy deeply impacted their own marriage, they began a recovery journey that reshaped both their relationship |
| 1:12.7 | and their individual lives. Today, they help other couples and individuals navigate addiction, |
| 1:19.3 | betrayal, and the long process of rebuilding trust. In this episode, they share how porn eroded |
| 1:26.2 | their emotional intimacy long before it was disclosed, |
| 1:29.9 | what betrayal trauma actually does to the brain, and why stopping the behavior was only the beginning of healing. |
| 1:37.1 | We talk about full disclosure, rebuilding honesty and trust in the right order, |
| 1:42.3 | and what sustainable recovery looks like for both partners. |
| 1:46.2 | If you've ever wondered whether a marriage can survive porn addiction or why betrayal feels so |
| 1:51.4 | devastating, this conversation offers grounded insight and hope. With that, let's jump in. |
| 1:58.4 | We hope you enjoy this episode of Consider Before Consuming. Welcome to our podcast today. We're so |
| 2:05.3 | grateful to have both of you here. To start, can you each share a bit about who you are and what brought you |
| 2:11.6 | to the work that you're doing today? Yeah, we're MacDew and Joanna Rabsmith. And we got into this work because our life was wrecked by pornography and sexual addiction and our marriage was practically destroyed by it. And we really liked each other. We liked who we were as a couple. And we really weren't satisfied with the idea that our marriage |
| 2:35.3 | was going to be either over or just kind of limp along for the rest of our life. And so we really |
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