Mom always told me to be a good boy, but the world said I could be anything I wanted to be, which is great, because I want to be a problem.

No, I won't dive into sex, drugs, or gender confusion to the world,

world that would make me a good little boy.

I will learn formal logic and adhere firmly to the concept of objective truth.

I will commit myself absolutely to the authority of the

word of God and make friends with Augustine, Luther, Calvin, Chesterton, Lewis,

and the US Constitution.

I hope to grow up and love only one woman, a woman at least as clear thinking and rebellious

in this world as I will be.

Who knows where true beauty lies and who will never let me stop striving to be the biggest problem

I can be.

I will give my life for hers and aim to have a family large enough to require specialty automobiles.

We will worship in a church, unashamed of the gospel, and live in a community

of families doing the same. I will work myself to the bone, providing for my family, and I will

make sure my kids all fall in love with Narnia and

Middle Earth that they will all know how to think that evolution will make them

giggle and rainbows will make them think of Noah and his urchi urky.

Like I said, I will be a problem, immune to all that is hip and trendy and now.

Singing songs are a century-old, savoring good wine and great whiskey, dancing and laughing and feasting while the enemies

of God scowl and glower and shelter in place.

Hello boy, the world says, what do you want to be mooning grow?

I want to be a metastasizing cancer of conservative Christian culture,

...