California King: "What is HØL?"

You Look Nice Today

Society & Culture, Scott Simpson, California, Lonely Sandwich, Comedy, Merlin Mann, Adam Lisagor, Twitter, Personal Journals, Ylnt

4.8 • 899 Ratings

🗓️ 4 April 2020

⏱️ 38 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Our work was done. We'd said all we needed to say. We apparated from this world, much like monks who retreat to a mountaintop hovel. Only for us, we apparated via Greyhound and hoveled in an abandoned Bauxite mine outside Eufaula, Alabama.

Everything was going great. We each had our own little cavernlet in which to do our alonetime ablutions and adult irrigations, and every evening we gathered by the pile of old cigarettes to tell stories and scratch each others' bug bites. We chopped wood, and we carried water. We made forts. And, yes, somtimes, we cried.

Then, one night, we heard a cricket.

Coming from... somewhere? Its chirp drove us crazy through those long 'Bama nights. Merlin suggested we get a lizard to kill the cricket. The plan worked perfectly. But that night we noticed the lizard looking down at us from its perch, really giving us the stink eye. Like it thought it was better than us. So Adam bought us a snake to take care of the lizard. And, then, somehow, there was a filthy Persian cat to take care of the snake. And so forth.

So, long story short: our cave is now occupied by a family of endangered Alabama Beach Mice (Peromyscus polionotus ammobates). And, we have returned to California.

Also, we are out of money.

Links:

California King — A new journal of emotional hygiene. From the makers of You Look Nice Today.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Hey, it's your old pal. Merlin here? I'm transmitting this automated electronic message to let you know that Scott and Adam and I have a new program called California King.
0:09.0	You can find it and subscribe at California King.org.
0:12.0	In the meantime, all your old favorite episodes of you
0:14.4	look nice today will continue to live here. Thanks for sticking with us.
0:18.0	Also, Vuts, I super like the way my computer voice says butts. Now I'm with the show.
0:23.0	It could not be a more like,
0:30.0	just sort of dank, dislike, just a kind of a moldy just look awayness.
0:40.0	Wow, my words are. My words are. room in college who does something like plays music too loud or does improv by themselves.
0:55.0	But like something where you would want to call the RA. I've not vaped before is something that I've not vaped before is this something that I should get into it
1:09.5	no god no it's not even honestly it's not even something we should talk about unless this
1:13.0	were 2014 I think you should get fucking balls deep you would look so good vaping
1:18.1	Adam would look good vaping that is true if you can get a fun hat and a skateboard
1:21.8	I want Adam's a vape pen to be chained to his pinky ring.
1:25.2	Oh, like that singer from Canada in the late 80s who had the nose ring that attached to her ear ring. You're saying he needs more. Oh yeah, forgot about her.
1:49.4	Oh God. I mean, you know. In these cloistered times a little cardboard doll of Adam with various clothes that you could put on. If I had a dolly of Adam made of cardboard that I could put it give it to my family and we could
1:54.1	all put clothes on it and have it vape. No! You look nice today.
2:15.0	nice today.
2:17.0	California King.
2:18.0	Guys I'm really, I have to be out very vulnerable right now and I'm I'm very squishy.
2:24.0	It's got your crier. Oh you know it. Okay. I'm like a wine glass I just shatter.
2:29.0	Oh no. Yeah. I get costly. I'm. I'm very soft right now. I slept in a little and I got my watch. It starts buzzing and it's a call from my bank. I'm like, fuck. That's not usually good. But long story short, you know, it was trying to, I was
2:45.4	yesterday I was wiring some cash to my mom and they they were very stern. I was
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from You Look Nice Today, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of You Look Nice Today and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.