Once upon a time, a group of curious storytellers breathed life into epic tales set in the wide fantasy world of Alexandria.

This is Liam O'Brien here to welcome you to Critical Role.

We'll dive into the story in just a moment, but first a few notes.

This is the audio-only version of our broadcast that streams Thursdays at 7pm Pacific over on Twitch.tv slash Critical Role and YouTube.com slash Critical Role.

If you subscribe to our Twitch channel, you can watch the video on demand immediately after the broadcast, and it's also available Mondays at 12pm Pacific on YouTube.

And of course, for all you wonderful podcast listeners, freshly minted episodes release right here on the Critical Role podcast network one week after our broadcast on Thursdays.

With all that said, let's get into the story.

Let me tell you about Quip, the Good Habits Company and their smart electric toothbrushes. These awesome brushes have all the guiding features of their original, with a new Bluetooth smart motor that connects to the free Quip app so you can track your brushing.

Get tips and daily coaching earned rewards like target gift cards for good habits as simple as brushing two minutes twice a day.

Yes, you can earn rewards for brushing your teeth. This is a real thing. They even sent me a free Quip toothbrush to try out.

I gotta be honest, I love it so much. I'm gonna get rid of my old one. In fact, this might be kind of tough, but in fairness to my old brush, I gotta come clean and make it official.

Brushy, listen. We've had some good years together, but I think it's time. God, this is harder than I thought it would be.

It's time for us to break up. Look, when we got together, it was exciting and different and wild, right? But I don't know, over the years, the electricity sort of faded.

Remember that time I had a real tough show? I know. It sounded weird me having a bad night, but I needed you badly that night.

And you said you needed to recharge? I know what happens to all the toothbrushes, but does it?

Sometimes, I just want to be gently caressed, but you're like so loud. It's kind of a mood killer, you know?

Look, you're still an amazing brush, just not for my mouth. The truth is, I met someone new. And Quip is just, we click, you know?

Like, if I want to go on a weekend trip, Quip's like, yeah, let's go. But with you, it was always like, oh wait, I gotta pack all my chargers and wires and accessories and stuff.

I need spot naity, brushy. Listen, you were my first electric and I'll still think about you every time I get salads stuck on my teeth.

But you, yes, it's an RCA cable. But you need to work on you, the excessive spending, the buzzing, the abrasive pressure. You need to get your head on straight. Nothing?

You're just gonna look at me like that? Don't you, don't you tempt me? Okay, fine, one more.

Oh god, I feel so dirty now. Just leave, just go and don't ever brush me again, just go.

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