Bang, it's the totally full bull show.

Today, CD Luke Routin-Tooten practicing their shooting,

United visit Chris Houton, who probably puts the booting.

Proving having class is one thing.

Being schooled is another.

It's week two of the Premier League as we ran up all the big stories at home and across the continent

in the Toadie Football Show.

And your totally football show today features Carl Anker.

Excelsio.

Hello, everyone.

Hi, from everyone to you, Carl.

Michael Cox is here.

Good morning, James.

Good morning to you, Michael.

And Sasha Gourinov.

Got Morgan, James.

Did you bring your carpet, Sasha Gourionov? And I just left it on the wall at home this time. Right. Do explain to everyone what we're talking about. Rostov playing against Eni-C. Yesterday at home, 1-0, lovely goal, the opener. Stadium goes mad, and there is a man in the crowd waving a properly massive carpet. No one yet has an explanation for this, but it has become a bit of a meme in Russia. Everyone's all over it. Oh, lots of things I want to ask you about, particularly about Kyrgyzstan. I haven't been, but I hear it's a lovely place. Right. We'll be discussing that later. And German Cup action, Michael. Yep. Because you demanded it. Carl, I know you want to talk about Cardiff, Newcastle. Yes, yes, I do.

All right. I very much want to talk about that game. If you'll permit, though, let's start with the two Manchester sides. See, do you recall played the Terriers? United played Terriably. It's a nice symmetry there, Sunday at the Amex. against the Brighton team that had been widely tipped largely by us for a lot of trouble this year. They did United Three-two. Chris Houton, who, Michael, I think you were expressing some concern about prior to the season. That wasn't me, but... Okay. Did you share that concern? I vaguely agreed with it, if that's funny.

How did it... What did he do Sunday? How did he turn it around from the Watford defeat? I mean, to be honest, I didn't think Brighton had to do anything special, to be honest. I think sometimes Brutton do play very good football. They're good on the counter-attack, but really United just self-destructed. United actually started the game reasonably well.

I think Lukaka had a chance 15 minutes in.

And everything looked to be going swimmingly, but as every time

that Bylie and Lindelof were exposed, especially Baii, who had a really dreadful game, I mean,

...