Bugle 4144 - Mo' moons mo' problems

The Bugle

News, News Commentary, Satire, Test Match Special, Comedy, Chris Addison, The Last Post, Nish Kumar, Urncast, Tiff Stevenson, Hari Kondabolu, Alice Fraser, Andy Zaltzman, The Gargle, Mildly Informed, Politics, Top Stories, John Oliver

4.8 • 6.7K Ratings

🗓️ 14 March 2020

⏱️ 43 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Andy, Tiff and Alice talk about Coronavirus, but more importantly they talk about new planets, periods and Sclooten Malvein.

Listen to this then listen to The Last Post

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Transcript

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0:00.0	AHAHAHAHAHA
0:10.4	The Bugle. Audio newspaper for a visual world.
0:14.4	Hello Bugleers and welcome to issue 4,144 of the Bugle. Audio newspaper for a pestilent world.
0:22.8	I am Zaltor. All curing God of Health.
0:26.8	Sadly I am on a badly timed sabbatical.
0:28.9	I have spent the last couple of decades in the all too human form of Andy's ultimate.
0:32.7	I am in London where danger stalks on every street.
0:36.5	Not danger, cababs. Sorry, people are going to danger.
0:39.2	The virus has not shut down the bugle.
0:42.4	Nor this recording studio here at something else with its super hygienic virus proof microphones.
0:49.6	They are totally safe on, Nickris.
0:52.6	There is no way you could possibly transmit a virus through one of these things that has
0:56.7	hundreds of different people talking into it every week.
0:58.6	Yes!
0:59.6	They deliberately put a porous coating on top just to absorb and trap the most.
1:04.1	Well exactly, because the phone bit of the microphone acts like a maze for the viruses.
1:09.1	The viruses as we know, they love to try and solve a puzzle as well.
1:12.1	They keep mutating and very clever.
1:15.6	The clever species, the virus.
1:17.1	And they get a bit excited by the phone bit on microphones.
1:20.0	I think, oh, this is a hell of a lot more fun than an nasal cavity.
1:23.1	And then they get lost and trapped deep within the maze of the microphone.
	...

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