We have two live gargle shows at the Edinburgh Fringe.

Please come along to the Edinburgh Fringe, the 15th and the 22nd of August.

I will be there and an array of delightful guests.

So book your tickets now.

Go to thebugelpodcast.com, forward slash live to buy tickets.

The Bugle, audio newspaper for a visual world.

Hello, Bee Euglers and welcome to issue 4000 and 72 of the Bugle,

which is not only the world's leading and only audio newspaper for a visual world,

but also a truly indispensable guide to life packed.

With sage advice on issues ranging from how not to become a tribal warlord,

how to avoid being mistaken for a billionaire oil tycoon and how not to win Wimbledon,

if you've listened to this show.

From the start in 2007 you would have achieved all three of those goals.

I am Andy Zoltzman, you may know me from such well-known shows as The Bugle Podcast,

Andy Zoltzman's Water Slide Mayhem.

Why is my turkey still alive?

How to avoid simple cooking errors at Christmas?

And when Andy met Gandhi, fictional meetings between low profile comedians and major historical figures,

part one.

I'm also a freelance astronaut, although I will admit work has been a little thin on the ground.

What with the moon landing is having ended in 1972, a couple years before I was born.

I chose the wrong time to specialise.

...