From SGI USA, I'm Cassidy Bradford and this is bootability.

The weekly series where I talk with Buddhists from all walks of life about the power we each have to change our lives and the world around us.

When I was in my third or fourth year of college, I started to think about careers, and so I did a mock interview with our career counselor.

And of course, she asked me to name a weakness of mine. And when she asked, I immediately thought about how the night before I was crying to my mom

about how worried I was about the essay I was writing. It wasn't going to be any good. Then I thought

about the ways that I criticize people I work with in a college campus club. So naturally, I went

with the old, I just want everything to be perfect, which honestly can be really stressful.

She very kindly pointed out that that answer is pretty overdone, but then she said,

the way you expressed it, though, seemed authentic, so it could work.

And I remember thinking, yeah, it was authentic because my perfectionism is very real and very crippling.

And then, of course, I criticized myself as she gave me that feedback.

Perfectionism isn't just a desire to do well.

It's setting impossible standards with little to no tolerance for mistakes,

then being harsh and overly critical to ourselves and others when we inevitably fail to meet those

standards. If you're a perfectionist, you might avoid learning a new skill because you don't want

to make a mistake or you don't want to feel like

you're not good at something. Or maybe you strain relationships by being overly critical to others.

If you're feeling like you've been bumping up to some wildly unrealistic standards in some

sort of way, you're not alone. Recent studies show that perfectionism in young people is on the rise and has been for

about 20 years.

The Buddhist philosopher Dysakwikeda offered some insight to a woman who was struggling

with perfectionism while adjusting to a new country.

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