Breaking Toxic Cycles God’s Way

She Lives Freed with Brittany Dawn Nelson

Brittany Dawn Nelson

Personal Journals, Christianity, Religion & Spirituality, Society & Culture

3.3 • 2.8K Ratings

🗓️ 7 April 2026

⏱️ 42 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Why does it feel like you’re having the same fight over and over again in your marriage? In today’s episode, I’m sitting down with Jenna Shaffer, a licensed therapist and Christian marriage coach, to talk about something so many couples experience… but don’t always recognize: toxic cycles. We’re diving into what these patterns actually look like, why they keep repeating, and how past wounds, triggers, and miscommunication can quietly shape the way we show up in marriage. But more importantly, we’re talking about how to break the cycle. This conversation blends biblical truth + practical tools to help you move from frustration and disconnection to healing, awareness, and real freedom in your marriage. If you’ve ever thought, “Why do we keep going in circles?” – this episode is for you. What a toxic cycle in marriage actually is Why couples repeat the same arguments How triggers and past wounds show up in your relationship The difference between healthy conflict and destructive patterns Practical steps to break unhealthy cycles What to do in the moment when emotions escalate How one person can begin shifting the dynamic Inviting God into the healing process in marriage “You’re not stuck, you may just be in a cycle you haven’t identified yet.” Connect with Jenna Shaffer: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/christianmillennialmarriages/ Website: https://christianmillennialmarriages.com/ Christian Marriage Academy: https://christianmillennialmarriages.com/cma Use code LOVEFIRST to get $600 off (46% off) Let’s Connect! If this episode blessed you, share it with a friend, leave a review, and tag me on Instagram @realbrittanydawn so I can connect with you personally! Have a question or topic idea? Send me a DM—I’d love to hear from you! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	It's always better to start with what you can do or are willing to do than what you can't do.
0:05.1	So a lot of times that response might be something like, I'm working or I can't.
0:09.8	You know, I have, I have it this, I have it that.
0:11.8	Well, rather than starting with what you can't do or the obstacle or the challenge, start with what you are willing to do.
0:24.5	Welcome to the Sheila's Fried podcast.
0:28.5	I am your host, Brittany Dawn Nelson, and I am so excited for today's guest.
0:32.9	Today we have Jenna Schaefer here, the voice behind Christian millennial marriages.
0:41.5	She is a licensed therapist and Christian marriage coach who is passionate about helping couples build marriages that are not just healthy, but truly Christ-centered.
0:49.6	She's dedicated to helping couples break unhealthy patterns, communicate better, and experience the kind of connection and freedom that God designed marriages to have.
0:52.9	Jenna, I am so excited to have you here today. Welcome to the podcast.
0:54.7	Thank you. Thank you so much for having me. I'm so grateful to be here. Of course. So I want to start by like, I just want to hear. I want to
1:00.9	hear about like what made you so passionate about marriage, what kind of started Christian millennial
1:05.7	marriages. There's, there's so much that we could unpack and talk about. I feel like you get
1:10.5	married as a Christian.
1:12.5	And if I'm being honest, like the church does not prepare us fully for marriage. And I'm sure you could preach to that.
1:20.2	I just want to hear like what was it that like really tell us a little bit about yourself.
1:24.4	Tell us like kind of what gave you this fire to talk about marriages.
1:28.0	Yes, absolutely. This really could turn into my testimony very quickly and early here, but I got married in 2015, and my husband and I, the best way I could describe it, we were kind of one foot in, one foot out with our faith. We went to church on Sundays, but then didn't really live
1:47.0	like believers the rest of the week. And we were also one foot in, one foot out a little bit on our
1:52.9	marriage. I would say maybe my husband more than me, he got married with, I think a mentality,
1:57.8	a lot of men get married with. My husband has coined the term married
2:01.0	bachelor. He wanted to be a married bachelor, right? He wanted to be married and have a wife and like
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