If the British Empire and its Commonwealth last for a thousand years, men will still say this was their finest hour.

We stand for Queen, Country and Video Games, BRB, UK, Worst teeth, better accents.

And... B. UK. Worst teeth. Better accents. Hello and hello and hello and a no. And a no. Why no? It's football was coming home.

It did come home, but it forgot the keys. Football's staying out for a while longer.

Yeah, football's sitting in the corner and think about what it's done.

Hello, this is BRB UK.

This is episode 301.

I am Dan, one of your hosts, recovered after the Choose Your Own Adventure athon that was

episode 300.

And I'm now unable to do anything where I'm not prompted for, and given a list of options. I mean, this morning, it was back to front or front to back. That's all I'm going to tell you what the options had to be, but I'm glad I chose the one I did. Good. Talking of stains, Tim, how are you doing? Yes, okay, sir. Yourself? Yeah, all right. I think the whole country's feeling a bit subdued.

Yeah, I'm a bit tired. Why are you a bit tired, Timothy? I went to develop yesterday,

which I'll be discussing another time. And then did you watch the pig bladder ball? And then I

watched the pig bladder ball. My plan of action that included doing that did not really want extra time.

The extra time then meant that after missing a train by a narrow margin,

I, I, basically, long story short, I arrived home at half two in the morning and then had to go to work at seven something.

So you miss a train by a narrow morning? A narrow morning? A narrow morning? A narrow morning. Just a small morning between me and a train. Just the tiniest of mornings. How did this end up? You, what, eh? Because the match finished at half nine. Yeah, but then I had to get back from Brighton, where Develop was.

Right.

We got on a slow train, because that was the one that was available.

That took its time.

By the time we got to London, no tubes.

Well, this story's getting cooler, so I'm just going to interrupt for a moment to introduce Coleman.

Coleman, call man, hello.

...