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Therapy in a Nutshell

Boundaries for Anxious Folk - Day 28 Break the Anxiety Cycle

Therapy in a Nutshell

Therapy in a Nutshell -Emma McAdam

Mental Health, Education, Health & Fitness:mental Health, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness

4.8658 Ratings

🗓️ 27 June 2024

⏱️ 15 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Do you want to learn how to process emotions and improve your mental health? Sign up for a Therapy in a Nutshell Membership. You'll get access to all of Emma’s courses, workbooks, and a live Q and A with 100’s of exclusive videos: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/membership People with anxiety often struggle with boundaries, and that’s partly because setting a boundary makes them anxious and not holding a boundary makes them anxious. And because many people with anxiety are sensitive and empathetic, they’re more likely to sacrifice their own needs and wants than to set boundaries on others. If you tend to be anxious, I bet the thought of setting boundaries makes you cringe a little. Someone with anxiety might say yes to every request at work, they might take on too many tasks, get overwhelmed, and feel stressed and exhausted because they didn’t say no. Relationships require a lot of boundaries, on your space, on your time, on your body and resources. And that’s just normal for healthy relationships, but dealing with toxic people requires even more intense boundary setting. If you want to manage depression or anxiety, you need to set boundaries. Looking for affordable online counseling? My sponsor, BetterHelp, connects you to a licensed professional from the comfort of your own home. Try it now for 10% off your first month: https://betterhelp.com/therapyinanutshell Learn more in one of my in-depth mental health courses: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com Support my mission on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/therapyinanutshell Sign up for my newsletter: https://www.therapyinanutshell.com Check out my favorite self-help books: https://kit.co/TherapyinaNutshell/best-self-help-books  Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health. In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger Institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction. And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/comeuntochrist/believe If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services. Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC

Transcript

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0:00.0

Understanding mental health struggles can be tough. That's why I created therapy in a nutshell to help make complicated therapeutic topics easy to understand and learn.

0:09.0

I'm Emma McAdam, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and this is the Therapy in a nutshell podcast.

0:15.0

These episodes don't replace the need for mental health professionals or the advice given by doctors,

0:20.0

but they provide options,

0:22.3

resources, and skills that can help you in your journey to better your own mental health

0:27.0

or help those around you that may be struggling. If you want to find more resources or if you

0:32.9

want to learn about courses I offer on specific mental health topics, please stop by my website at

0:37.8

TherapyInanin'HL.com. Now let's jump in to this week's skill. People with

0:43.5

anxiety often struggle with boundaries, and that's partly because setting a boundary

0:47.8

makes them anxious and not holding a boundary makes them anxious. And because many

0:53.1

people with anxiety are sensitive and empathetic,

0:56.0

they're more likely to sacrifice their own needs and want than to set boundaries on others.

1:01.0

If you tend to be anxious, I bet the thought of setting boundaries makes you cringe a little bit.

1:07.0

Someone with anxiety might say yes to every request at work. They might take on too many tasks, get overwhelmed, feel stressed and exhausted because they didn't say no.

1:16.6

Relationships require a lot of boundaries on your space, on your time, on your body, on your resources,

1:22.6

and that's just normal for healthy relationships, but dealing with toxic people requires setting even more boundaries.

1:28.3

If you want to manage depression or anxiety, you need to set boundaries. Now, anxious people often swing

1:34.9

between massively overbooking themselves and cutting everything out. They try to do everything

1:41.1

for everyone, and then when they're finally ready to say no, they

1:45.0

swim to the opposite side by cutting people off or burning bridges or just withdrawing completely.

1:52.0

When you get good at boundaries, they are so clear that you don't have to do some huge thing.

1:58.0

You just send like these small little clear messages about what you will

...

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