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Keeping Records

Boston Crime Donut (with Lureena Cornwell)

Keeping Records

Headgum

Comedy, Society & Culture, Places & Travel, Comedy Interviews, Documentary

5 • 726 Ratings

🗓️ 3 September 2021

⏱️ 57 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Some people say that art is chaos, and, in that sense? This episode is...art. Actor, improviser, and writer Lureena Cornwell has a virtual visit with Caleb and Shelby, who, per usual, are in a fight. This time it's over a cat turd. Aside from that, though, our hosts must know what's on Lureena's record, which is so unfortunate because her internet service provider absolutely does not want that.  When the dust has settled and Lureena's upload speed has improved beyond 1 Mbps, she gives the aliens a picture of the most ideal Earth: one in which domesticated animals walk themselves, clothes are reused, soup is filling, and where every human speaks with a non-rhotic dialect and either commits crime or cracks down on it. Lureena's Artifacts Pets walking with their humans without a leash (animal behavior) Boston crime movies, ex: The Departed, Mystic River, Gone Baby Gone (audio visual) When someone compliments your outfit and you get to tell them it’s all thrifted and how much you spent on every item, with a bonus when it’s a 69 cent item from Salvation Army on 69 cent Saturday (multisensory experience) Hearty soup (food) Hand cut French fries (food)  Family (human social structure) The dog painting video that Shelby likes. Follow Lureena on Instagram and Twitter! -- Follow the show @keepingrecordspod Advertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fm See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript

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0:00.0

This is a headgam original.

0:03.0

In 1977, NASA sent two solid gold records into space, so that aliens might find them and understand life on Earth.

0:20.0

I sent greetings on behalf of the people of our planet and friendly wishes to all who we encounter this voyager.

0:27.7

Now, we're making new records with our friends.

0:31.7

Hello, good-jord, our mona.

0:33.7

Hello.

0:34.6

We step out of our solar system

0:38.2

into the universe

0:39.6

seeking only peace and friendship

0:41.8

we know full well

0:44.1

that our planet

0:45.3

and all its inhabitants

0:46.8

are but a small part

0:48.9

of this immense universe

0:50.8

that surrounds us

0:52.1

hello from the children

0:54.0

of planet Earth.

0:58.1

Oh, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well,

1:03.5

Caleb Aaron, Shelby, Woolstein.

1:08.8

Wolstein.

1:10.1

Yeah, we're wearing, uh, the, actually, the listeners might be interested to know that we're wearing Woolstein. Wolstein. Yeah.

1:14.9

We're wearing the, actually, the listeners might be interested to know that we're wearing very similar kind of shirt ideas right now.

...

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