Borderline Emails #5 - Transference, Bad Therapy
Psychology In Seattle Podcast
Kirk Honda
4.5 • 1.3K Ratings
🗓️ 29 May 2026
⏱️ 98 minutes
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Summary
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hey, these are my listeners. So today's episode is the final episode in which I read the patron and YouTube member emails about borderline. And in these episodes, we end up touching on a lot of topics that aren't related to borderline because borderline is not this discrete thing in isolation. |
| 0:21.4 | There's often associated things, you know, like other personality disorders or other kind of attachment ideas and theories and stuff. |
| 0:27.3 | But anyway, so in this final episode, I grouped all of the emails regarding therapy, what it's like to be in therapy and what it's like to be a |
| 0:38.2 | therapist. So let's get into it. My name is Dr. Kirk Honda, and I'm a therapist and a professor. |
| 0:44.0 | So this first email is from annual anonymous patron. They say, hey, Dr. Kirk, the TLDR of this is, |
| 0:52.1 | would you happen to have any tips on how, as a patient struggling with borderline |
| 0:56.8 | and disorganized attachment, do you have any tips on how to push through and continue with therapy |
| 1:01.2 | once transference starts to really intensify? Okay, so let's read the rest of this email. It's a little |
| 1:07.6 | long, but I think it's important because it really describes well |
| 1:13.5 | the conundrum that people with disorganized attachment and borderline. So a little side note about |
| 1:20.2 | disorganized attachment, borderline. Not everyone with borderline has disorganized attachment, |
| 1:25.9 | not everyone with disorganized attachment has borderline, |
| 1:28.3 | but they often go hand in hand and the symptoms of each can overlap and blend together. |
| 1:36.8 | So that's what I'll say about. I've talked about that before, but just to be clear. So, |
| 1:42.7 | and if you don't know what disorganized attachment is, just very briefly, |
| 1:47.0 | when a child is being abused by a caregiver, particularly if there isn't a safe haven, |
| 1:53.5 | you know, if you're being abused by one parent and the other parent is a safe person to go to, |
| 1:58.8 | then you probably won't develop disorganized attachment. |
| 2:02.0 | You develop disorganized attachment when there's no home base, there's no secure place |
| 2:08.4 | in a relationship. |
| 2:09.7 | So either both parents or all caregivers are being abusive or one is being abusive and |
| 2:15.5 | the other is being hands off. |
... |
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