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For The Love With Jen Hatmaker Podcast

[BONUS] The Rest of Our Lives: A Conversation About the Long Middle with Ben Markovits

For The Love With Jen Hatmaker Podcast

Jen Hatmaker

Relationships, Society & Culture

4.66.3K Ratings

🗓️ 9 January 2026

⏱️ 48 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Description:What happens after the dream you built your life around ends? In today’s tender and searching conversation, Jen and Amy sit down with acclaimed novelist Ben Markovits to talk about his forthcoming book, The Rest of Our Lives—a story that lingers in the quiet spaces of midlife, marriage, parenting, friendship, and the quiet reckonings that arrive when the future you imagined no longer fits. The book is so spectacular, it has been shortlisted as a finalist for the illustrious Booker Prize. Together, the trio explores what happens when the life you worked toward doesn’t quite deliver what you expected—and how that reckoning ripples through family, intimacy, and identity. Ben speaks honestly about ambition, and the grief of letting go of former selves, while also naming the surprising beauty found in showing up for the people you love in ordinary, unglamorous moments. He and Jen talk about the similarities between the fictional story that he wrote and the real-life account that Jen penned in Awake.  This episode is for anyone standing in the middle of their life, caring for children or parents (or both), wondering how to hold disappointment without becoming hardened—and how to love the life in front of you without pretending it’s easy. It’s a conversation about endurance, tenderness, and the brave, ongoing work of choosing one another as the years keep unfolding. If you’ve ever asked yourself, Is this really it?—and then quietly hoped the answer might still be no, not yet—this one is for you. Thought-provoking Quotes: “The author of Anatomy of a Murder said that writing a novel is like driving on a mountain road late at night. You should know where you're trying to get to, and you should be able to see 30 yards in advance.  I guess I have some sense of where I want to get to and then I spend a lot of time watching the next 30 yards.” – Ben Markovits “I like to write about characters who feel like the place they have made for themselves in the world doesn't totally express their sense of who they are.” – Ben Markovits I love the way you write all the backstories of everything because I'm someone who wants to ask 20 questions about what was the furniture in the in-laws beach house like and how did that shape the family dynamic that he married into? Which if you, if you ask all those questions, you sound a little crazy. But actually, you answered all of my questions as I was reading. – Amy Hardin “At a certain point in marriage, you have your fingerprints all over each other.” – Ben Markovits “I love when characters are human, flawed, curious, confused, just really working out their own story. I'm drawn to stories like that that aren't necessarily tidy.” – Jen Hatmaker Resources Mentioned in This Episode: The Rest of Our Lives: A Novel by Ben Markovits – https://amzn.to/4qanlhM The Booker Prizes | Ben Markovits – https://thebookerprizes.com/the-booker-library/authors/ben-markovits Anatomy of a Murder by Robert Traver – https://amzn.to/3YAUTKc Awake: A Memoir by Jen Hatmaker – https://amzn.to/4qaARlw Phineas Redux by Anthony Trollope – https://amzn.to/4qiOPSN Starting Out by Ben Markovits – https://www.faber.co.uk/journal/faber-announces-the-acquisition-of-a-new-novel-by-ben-markovits/#:~:text=It%20will%20be%20published%20in,' New York Times – out 12/21 Atlantic Excerpt –  The Rest of Our Lives Book Tour – https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-Rest-of-Our-Lives/Ben-Markovits/9781668231562 Guest’s Links: Website - https://www.simonandschuster.com/authors/Ben-Markovits/250699726 Connect with Jen!Jen’s Website - https://jenhatmaker.com/ Jen’s Instagram - https://instagram.com/jenhatmakerJen’s Twitter - https://twitter.com/jenHatmaker/ Jen’s Facebook - https://facebook.com/jenhatmakerJen’s YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/user/JenHatmaker The For the Love Podcast is presented by Audacy.  To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hey everybody. Welcome to the show. Welcome back. We've got a bonus episode today. We haven't done one of those in a while and they're fun. Sometimes we have just kind of an extra episode that we wanted to record and it didn't slot in in the normal place because it was a

0:22.1

little bit of a different content and that's today. And we had like a really thoughtful,

0:27.7

interesting, funny. He's funny. I liked him. Guest with us, we have Ben Markovitz. Ben is an author.

0:34.6

This is his 12th book. It's called The Rest of Our Lives, which comes, it just came out.

0:41.3

At the time that you're listening to this, it just hit the market. And it's a novel. And we were

0:49.7

drawn to it because it's capturing a lot of the complexities and transitions and disappointments and

0:56.8

even like rebuilding of midlife, which we talk about all the time here, but from a man's

1:02.4

perspective, which at the very end of the interview, Amy was like, I appreciated that because

1:08.5

we talk about this season almost exclusively in the

1:14.0

context of women on this show. And so it was interesting, even though it's in a fictional setting,

1:19.6

to talk about some of the same themes and what it might look like in midlife for a dude. And so I think that that's going to be really resonant with readers.

1:31.2

If you are a fiction lover, you're going to want to tune in here, like let your ears perk up.

1:37.3

Let me tell you about Ben real quick before we bring him on. He grew up here in Austin,

1:43.8

but also all over.

1:46.2

He explains this a little bit.

1:47.4

His parents were academics.

1:49.1

What do you say he went to 11 schools?

1:51.4

Yeah.

1:52.4

That's bonkers.

1:55.0

So all those schools were between Texas and Germany and London.

1:59.7

So his mom's German and his dad is an American Jewish academic.

2:06.3

Both his parents are PhDs.

...

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