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Today I want to talk to you about assertiveness. So we hear a lot about assertiveness training and people who really need to learn to be

assertive. We also have dealt in our lives with people who are just a little too assertive,

and they were a little too much, or sometimes a lot too much for us to handle.

So there are mixed reviews when it comes to the idea of assertiveness,

but it is an absolutely crucial skill for cult survivors.

It can have a profound impact on you when you learn to be assertive and when you learn to control the assertiveness.

What I mean by that is there are plenty of people who have contacted me who have said,

I left a cult or I left a controlling relationship and now I'm

getting in fights with everyone. I cannot tolerate anyone telling me what to do. I cannot tolerate

anyone telling me I was wrong. My nervous system just can't handle it.

Or, I spent so many years being silent that now, at the smallest provocation, I let people have it.

And it might be displaced anger. I might really be wanting to yell at my former partner or my former cult member, but they're not there.

So the mail carrier who is late with my mail is the one to be the recipient, unfortunately, or the waitress at the restaurant.

And I'm not sure what to do because I don't want to go back

to being silent, but this is going to isolate me and make me come across as difficult and

unkind. And so we're going to talk about the kind of assertiveness where it's about reclaiming your voice,

but also still setting healthy boundaries around it and around yourself.

...