BONUS - Do I NEED My Partner For My Own Happiness? Discovering Sue Johnson's Love Sense
The Virtual Couch
Tony Overbay LMFT
4.9 • 668 Ratings
🗓️ 23 January 2020
⏱️ 46 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
One of the popular messages shared by both therapists and media alike is that we are supposed to be in complete control of our own emotions before, or even IF we then turn to others and that it is necessary to love yourself first and only THEN will someone else be able to love you. But according to Dr. Sue Johnson, founder of the highly successful evidence-based couples therapy model, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), our new knowledge “stands that message on its head.” Dr. Johnson, in her latest book, Love Sense https://amzn.to/2RYEwq6, The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships, says that “we are designed to deal with emotion in concert with another person, not by ourselves.” Tony breaks down attachment issues at their very beginning, when we’re born, and then builds on why it is so important to have a secure attachment as a base to operate from in order to be more successful in navigating the complex world of human relationships. “We have cracked the code of love,” says Dr. Johnson.
-Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony will be speaking in the Midvale North Stake on Sunday, January 26th in Midvale, UT. His talk is titled "Hang in There! You're Doing Better Than You Think." The talk is free, the address is 97 W 7500 South, Midvale, UT.-Tony will be presenting at the Outlier Podcast Festival in Salt Lake City on January 25th, 2020. You can find out more info here: Outlier Podcast Festival | Salt Lake City at The Pod Mill @ 30 South Main Street Salt Lake City UT January 24-25, 2020 http://outlierpodfest.com/ Get a 15% discount to attend the festival by using the discount code "Outlier".-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.-The book tackles tough questions with answers from both the expert and the addict's point of view. Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and creator of The Path Back, an online pornography addiction recovery program that has helped hundreds of people overcome turning to pornography and other compulsive sexual behaviors as a coping mechanism, and Joshua Shea, former addict, and author of the book “The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About” read their respective answers to questions such as "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"-Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone.-You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.-The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hey, coming up on today's episode of the virtual couch, a little bonus episode. |
| 0:04.3 | Do I need my partner for my own happiness? |
| 0:07.9 | We're going to break down Sue Johnson's love sense in this bonus episode. |
| 0:12.2 | That and more coming up on the virtual couch. |
| 0:26.2 | Hey. Hey, everybody, I'll make this one quick. |
| 0:29.5 | Now, as a therapist myself, of course, I recommend that everybody give therapy a try. |
| 0:32.4 | Truly, we're all hanging on to some things that would be helpful to process, |
| 0:35.4 | or there's things in our life that we might, maybe we thought we'd achieve by now, or there's things that we desperately want to achieve so that we won't live a life full of regrets. Or there are people listening right now who may be noticing that their anxiety or their depression is getting a tiny bit more, let's call it amplified the longer that it's left untreated. You owe it to yourself or those around you, to your spouse, your kids, and actually I guess really the most important person is, at the very least, give therapy a try. So if you're nervous about finding the right fit, if you're worried about bumping into somebody in a therapy waiting room, if you have any worries about therapy, might I recommend that you go immediately to betterhelp.com slash virtual couch. Again, that's betterhelp.com slash virtual couch, all one word, and take a look at the world of online therapy. Go check out what over 500,000 people have already done before you. And sign up right now. Go to betterhelp.com slash virtual couch. You'll get the help that you need. You'll get 10% off your first month services. They have a broad range of expertise in their counselor network, which might not be locally available in many areas. The service is available wherever you live. It's worldwide. And you can log into your account at any time and send a message to your counselor. You can get a timely and thoughtful response, plus you can schedule weekly video or phone sessions so you don't ever have to sit in an uncomfortable waiting room as with traditional therapy, although I maintain that my waiting room is very nice and comfortable. BetterHelp.com will assess your needs, match you with your own licensed professional |
| 1:46.9 | therapist, and they have therapists that specialize in everything, all kinds of things. |
| 1:51.3 | OCD, anxiety, depression. |
| 1:53.3 | They use modalities such as acceptance and commitment therapy, my favorite. |
| 1:56.9 | And you can start communicating typically in under 24 hours. |
| 1:59.8 | They're committed to facilitating great therapeutic matches so they make it easy and free to change counselors if needed. Nothing awkward about that whatsoever. So if you do go through BetterHelp.com slash virtual couch, again, you'll receive 10% off your first month services. So what are you waiting for? You owe it to yourself and at the very least just go check it out. Go ahead. Pause the podcast right now. Go do it. I'm not going anywhere. |
| 2:21.4 | Now let's get to the show. |
| 2:41.1 | Okay. Hey, everybody. |
| 2:45.6 | Thank you for tuning into episode 179 of the virtual couch. |
| 2:47.2 | Calling this one a special bonus episode. |
| 2:49.0 | I'm still your host, Tony Overbay. |
| 2:50.8 | I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist, certified mindful lab at coach, writer, speaker, husband, father of four, ultra-marathon runner, and co-author of the best-selling book, He's a Porn Addict, Now What? An expert and former addict to answer your questions in which I play the role of the expert and creator of the Pathback, an online pornography recovery program that is helping people, like you, reclaim their lives from the harmful effects of pornography. If you or anybody that you know is struggling to put pornography behind them once and for all, and trust me, it can be done in a strength-based, hold the shame, become the person you always knew you could be way. Then please head over to pathback recovery.com, and there you can download a short ebook that describes five common mistakes that people make when trying to get rid of pornography once and for all again. |
| 3:27.3 | That's Pathback to Recovery. Recovery. I'm not recording this. Recovery.com. And please visit Virtual Couch on Instagram. |
| 3:35.5 | You can find a virtual couch and a Tony Overbay licensed marriage and family therapist page on Facebook. |
| 3:40.4 | And if you have a minute and you've enjoyed any of the virtual couch podcast material, |
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