The Bugle, audio newspaper for a visual world!

Hello, Bugles. I'm on holiday right now, so what you're about to hear is a special summer sub-bugle.

I'll be at the Edinburgh Festival from the 13th to the 25th of August to do my solo show,

Saturist for Higher at 4.30pm in Stan3. Send your satirical request to the usual address,

satirisesat saturistforhier.com. With the date of the show you're attending and the issue you

won't satirised if you are indeed attending a show and wanting something satirised.

There will be live Bugles on the 16th and 19th of August at the Newtown Theatre at respectively

9pm and 1.30pm and there will be political animals shows the 13th to the 15th of August

and the 18th to the 22nd. So not Fridays and Saturdays basically. They all take place at 11.30pm

in Stan1 and the first of them on the 13th of August will be a Bugle co-host special featuring

Nish, Alice, Tiff and Anuva. Do come along to all of those shows, they will have a different

fantastic bill every night. In the meantime it is now Bugle Offcuts and Archive Time. Take it away!

In other projectiles news, birds and bats have been shitting on people's cars,

particularly in Australia. Tom, an Australian man left his car parked in Port Macquarie by a river

and returned a couple of days later to find that the natural world had very much got its revenge

on humanity. The local pelicans had turned his beloved vehicle into what can only be described

as a defecatory, satirical installation sculpture. They had in layman's terms,

shot the living shit out of the car, splattering the quadru wheelie-yled device with enough

peliguano to make the average Boris Johnson sentence look relatively cogent. As the old saying goes,

everything's the can when you're a pelican. And so often it could have been worse because

it could have been batshit and batshit apparently is much more corrosive to the paint

of a batshit paint job instead of a pelican plastering. It's much worse for your car.

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