Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO late-night series Real Time with Bill Maul.

The fake media won't turn the cameras around and show the size of the crowd, but there's at least 30,000 people here.

50,000 exactly. Now I have to say I have really nothing prepared. I really thought none of us would still be here.

So I just came back from Hawaii. It was very relaxing until the Missil Alert went off.

Yeah, you heard about that shit. Came up on people's phones and Hawaii were there.

An incoming Missil is headed for Hawaii. This is not a test. Usually when I'm in Hawaii and I hear the word incoming, it means someone's passing the joint.

How many are from a shit hole country? I know I am, ladies and gentlemen.

No, Trump is taking care of that. He used that term shit hole, but today he designated Haiti a most favored shit hole.

But that whole shit hole thing came about because they were trying to get this immigration deal done, which may shut down the government.

I mean this is much bigger than just shit hole. The problem is that his idiot friends in Congress like Paul Ryan, they think they have a deal.

And then Trump watches Fox and Friends and Steve Ducey says it's a bad deal and then Trump tweets something and fucks it up.

They're like parents who have shared custody of a stupid fat kid.

Good news. Here's some good news to end with. Donald Trump took his physical and apparently he's the healthiest man who ever lived.

In fact, he has to be careful when he hits a golf ball that he doesn't hit it too hard and tear a hole in the space time continuum.

His doctor, another prize, this guy, said he said absolutely excellent health, but he has to lose 10 to 15 pounds.

But Trump said he prefers not using the stair mastery, prefers lying his ass off.

And then the doctor said it's just that Donald Trump has incredibly good genes. It's just the way God made him.

And today God said Jesus, don't bring me into this shit.

Alright, thank you very much.