Now it's time for real time 2.0.

Your task to listen in behind the scenes to the real time monologue jokes America didn't

hear.

Okay so are you newshounds because there's a lot of news today you know our new attorney

general Jeff Sessions you like this guy terrific isn't he?

Now that was a joke he said anyway he's in a he's in big trumpet now because he

said he had he had testified that he did not have any communications and hadn't

met with the Russians and then it turned out he met with the Russian ambassador

twice and our intelligence picked up communication between Russia and Trump

associates inside the Kremlin now when fairness Trump always said that he loved

campaigning in the red states but of course these were just meetings just

meetings if they took plates on a private email server that would be bad but

no Sarah Palin said today that she's been watching Russia's house and she

doesn't see anything going on so well Trump gave his big boy address to

Congress on Tuesday night and he read it directly from the teleprompter which

apparently is no longer a sin now that the president is white

and the media responded like proud parents of a toddler who finally learned to

use his words Chris Casilla of the Washington Post said this is Trump at his

absolute very best a very nice note about our shared humanity yeah I think

Chris also thinks the dancers at the strip clubs really like him I hope the

media never sits on Charles Manson's parole board because apparently you can

say crazy dangerous shit your entire life and then just say one thing like it's

...