All right, so I have this new plan where I think I can read, I've written this section,

this cold open on Matt Hancock to sound like a newscaster. And I think I might be able to do it.

Commenting on the government's controversial rescue plan for embattled short haul carrier flybee,

health secretary Matt Hancock said he believes the public can carry on flying as before,

despite the declared climate emergency. Asked if can carry on flying as before despite the declared

climate emergency. Asked if people should be flying less because of the climate catastrophe

following the controversial bailout of Flybee, he replied simply nope. Nope. Nope. There it is.

There it is. Nope. Next question. Now, there is a bit you want to get into about Matt Hancock's theory of flight.

We, the health secretary continued, should use technology to reduce carbon emissions.

For instance, electric planes are a potential in the not too distant future.

Distrant.

Fuck.

This motherfucker said distrants.

I too want to live in the distant future i was doing so well

anyway yeah matt matt manncock is now being like wait electric planes this is basically

some stephen pinker cloud ships shit i mean i legitimately think that huge dirgibles that operate on

i don't know like like fuel cells are more likely than making

planes electric.

Yes, absolutely.

There is one universe where this has happened, and it is the universe of Neon Genesis

Evangelion, where the machines were charged by electricity, but one of the famous parts

of the original episodes was that they could only operate for like 10 minutes

...