Blood Vacation

Net Positive with John Crist

John Crist

Stand-up, Religion & Spirituality, Comedy

4.8 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 26 November 2025

⏱️ 75 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

John’s brain test, sports fan age ranges, not fitting in with the crowd, and our takes on turkey… On the net, it’s a positive. ----- JOKES FOR HUMANS TOUR: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://johncristcomedy.com/tour/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 11/20 - Abilene, TX 11/21 - San Antonio, TX 11/22 - Tyler, TX 11/23 - Austin, TX 12/5 - Phoenix, AZ 12/6 - Santa Rosa, CA 12/7 - Redding, CA 12/11 - South Bend, IN 12/12 - Munhall, PA 12/14 - Buffalo, NY 1/23 - Joliet, IL 1/24 - Effingham, IL 1/25 - Nashville, TN 2/20 - Springfield, MO 2/22 - Louisville, KY 2/26 - Ithaca, NY 2/27 - Reading, PA 2/28 - Glenside, PA 3/1 - New York, NY 3/20 - Jackson, MI 3/21 - Rockford, IL 3/22 - Cedar Rapids, IA 3/27 - Columbia, MO 3/28 - Fayetteville, AR 3/29 - Little Rock, AR 4/10 - Stockton, CA 4/11 - Anaheim, CA 4/12 - Thousand Oaks, CA 4/17 - Tucson, AZ 4/18 - Houston, TX 5/2 - Fort Worth, TX 5/3 - Amarillo, TX 5/14 - Wilmington, NC 5/15 - Evans, GA 5/16 - Durham, NC 5/29 - Jacksonville, FL 5/30 - Asheville, NC 5/31 - Columbia, SC 6/4 - Mobile, AL 6/5 - Florence, AL 6/6 - Duluth, GA ----- Catch the full video podcast on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and follow us on social media (⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@netpositivepodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠) for clips, bonus content, and updates throughout the week. ----- Email us at netpositive@johncristcomedy.com ----- FOLLOW JOHN ON: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Twitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ----- SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS MOSH: Save 20% off plus FREE shipping on the Best-Sellers Trial Pack at https://moshlife.com/NETPOSITIVEHELLO FRESH: Get 10 FREE MEALS AND A HIGH-PROTEIN ITEM FOR LIFE with promo code NETPOSITIVE10FM at https://hellofresh.com/NETPOSITIVE10FM ----- PRODUCED BY: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Alex Lagos⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ / ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Easton Smith⁠⁠⁠ / ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Lagos Creative⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey Harry.
0:00.7	Hello mate.
0:01.5	Got any tips for the football?
0:02.8	Your best bet is to head over to Bet Victor.
0:04.9	They're giving new customers a terrific welcome offer. If you bet a minimum of £10, they'll give you £30 in three bets. Oh, that's a steel of a deal. It's a good darn deal that'll make your squirrel for real. Neil? My name's not Neil. I know, bet it rhymes. Listen to Harry and make your best bet on the football at Betvictor.
0:23.4	18 plus opt in and bet on any football marketing at odds of evens or greater no, cash out seven-day expiry terms and conditions apply. Gamblerware.com. Net positive. On the net, it's a general positive. Not positive. What's going on to everybody? It's positive. It's Thanksgiving, bro.
0:37.9	Everybody's on the way to Thanksgiving.
0:39.7	Yep.
0:40.1	Now, dude, you know what?
0:41.8	Somebody came to my show this weekend and they said they don't let their kids do not, are not allowed to listen.
0:47.2	Dude, not positive?
0:48.0	Work for kids, dude.
0:49.6	Yeah.
0:50.1	We don't say anything, do we?
0:51.6	It's probably my fault.
0:52.9	Yeah.
0:53.4	That might be you.
0:54.3	Yeah.
0:56.9	Every every once in a while, the kid, yeah, but this one's safe.
1:07.9	This one's very safe. No, they all are, by the way, but this one, we're not going to be touching anything. We're going to be listening on the way to the kids are on their iPads anyway. Yeah, they're not paying attention. What are kids doing while driving? these days.
1:08.5	For sure,
1:08.9	iPads.
	...

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