Blinded by the light & other tales

Simon Mayo's Confessions

Bauer Media

Comedy

4.9 • 1.3K Ratings

🗓️ 27 February 2026

⏱️ 46 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo, Sister Suzi, Sister Holly and Brother Matthew for another week of chaos.

First: a 1950s boarding school in Kenya where the boys welcome new UK teachers with the ultimate classroom icebreaker… bright green pet snakes, smuggled under shirts and released onto desks.

Then Bob’s Tenerife chip run goes catastrophically windy, ending with paper plates, ketchup, and an accidental Carry On-style moment by the pool.

Plus: Geoff “accidentally” cosplays as blind on the train thanks to reactive sunglasses, a Dayglo lead and a protruding white stick, and Chris launches a full police sting to recover his stolen bike… with questionable consequences.

Got a confession? Send it to confessions@greatesthitsradio.co.uk.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Max Millions, Max Millions,
0:04.2	Welcome to Max Millions, the casino with winnings that are in a completely different universe.
0:10.6	Max Millions!
0:12.0	Make a splash and win up to 500 free spins playing Storm to Riches,
0:17.2	plus dazzling daily jackpots on fluffy favourites and big bass splash take your seat at maxmillions.com
0:23.8	new players only 10 pound minimum deposit terms apply 18 plus be gambleaware.org please play responsibly
0:29.6	you can't do much in under five minutes boil an egg sure cook a roast dinner no chance
0:35.9	but comparing car insurance prices with mustard.co.uk,
0:40.0	easy. See what you could save in just a few minutes. Click mustard.com.org.
0:45.9	Authorised and regulated by the Financial Conduct Authority. See website for details.
0:50.5	What's on TV? The answer is a lot. There's never been more choice ever what to put on the box with an abundance of great new shows, but you can miss them all if you don't know where to look. And that's where the pilot TV podcast comes in, your essential guide to every show that matters. Each week, we sift through the very best in Prestige TV to help you decide what's worth spending your time on and what isn't. So join me, James
1:10.9	Dyer, as well as venerable TV critics, Boyd Hilton and Kay Ribeiro, and let us help take the stress
1:15.6	out of your downtime. The Pilot TV podcast, because you can't watch everything.
1:21.3	A Rayo Original podcast. Step into our confessional. Confess all. We won't tell anyone. Just the entire nation. From Greatest Hits Radio, Simon Mayo's Confessions. Yes, hello and welcome. It's another Confessions podcast. Brought to you by your friends at Greatest Hits Radio, the most loved radio station in the world.
1:45.8	Okay.
1:46.8	Yeah, no, let's go with that.
1:49.1	And also, this is the Most Love podcast.
1:53.4	Yes, from the Most Love Radio Station.
1:56.3	Wow.
1:57.0	You see that is true because it's also you can't, you can't measure that.
2:01.3	You can't measure love. You can't measure love. Isn't that a Dolly Parton song? I'm pretty sure it is. I think it was Phil Collins, wasn't it? Oh yes, that's right, yes. Anyway, that's what we are. The most already said in the most love podcast because Sister Susie is back in the pub. I am a deep. Brother Matthew is still in his gutter.
2:18.1	Yeah.
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Bauer Media, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Bauer Media and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.