Black holes and revelations & other tales

Simon Mayo's Confessions

Bauer Media

Comedy

5 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 12 January 2024

⏱️ 50 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

We’re back, and Simon’s declared this Season 5. Although, to be honest, it got messy, and we lost count. Anyway, Mitch, Julie, Harry and Nick come in search of forgiveness in this episode - do they deserve it?

There are bonus confessions from the producer’s file marked ‘Not for broadcast’. Some profoundly vague advice about what to keep in the boot of your car, and a few early bits and pieces on the Parish Notice Board, including Bill’s confessional note regarding his prized Lynn Parsons clock.

Plus, we venture into the crypt for a classic confession from ‘Knuckles’ entitled; I Was Born Under A Wand'rin’ Star’ - which illustrates the unexpected pitfalls of going travelling in your 30s.

Send your confessions and notes for the Parish Notice Board to [email protected]

Transcript

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0:00.0	How exciting is it to play the British Heart Foundation's weekly flutter?
0:03.7	Kachin! Exciting enough to get your heart racing, just a little bit.
0:09.5	Like texting a mate, the same time they text you.
0:13.0	Like flipping pancakes with majestic grace,
0:16.0	or spotting that last parking space.
0:19.0	Yes!
0:20.0	With the added joy of knowing the money you donate
0:22.0	helps to fund life-saving research.
0:25.0	One pound to play, a thousand pounds to win every week.
0:28.0	Search British Heart Foundation weekly lottery.
0:31.0	See, it's a little bit exciting.
0:33.0	Gamble responsibly, over 18s only, T's and C's apply.
0:36.0	Please see our website for more details.
0:38.0	British Heart Foundation is a registered charity.
0:40.0	Halifax presents. Bad Move.
0:42.0	Bad Move, Good Move.
0:44.0	Bad Move, trusting your other half to put up shelves to hold the China your lovely Nan left you.
0:49.0	Oh yeah, jobs are gooden.
0:53.0	Oops.
0:55.0	Oops.
0:56.0	Good move.
0:57.0	Joining the one in five first-time buyers who choose a Halifax mortgage.
	...

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