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Hello my shopaholics, Max and East is mall rats, coupon clippers, bargain bitches,

capitalism warriors and sales slugs. It's the holidays and that means one thing. Family.

No, I'm kidding. That means shopping. Family. What the f***?

Like many of you, I too will be going out on Black Friday. One of America's most treasured excuses

to buy shit. And Black Friday seems like something that's been around forever. I mean,

I can't remember a time when Black Friday didn't exist. Then again, my memory is a little fuzzy

from all the head trauma from previous Black Fridays. The history of Black Friday is actually

quite interesting. It started in the 1920s when retail stores wanted to set a clear beginning

to the Christmas shopping season. So department stores like May Seas created grand parades to

signal to Americans it's time to start spending cash. Although back then, parade balloons weren't

as cute as the ones today. You know, classics like Puff the Methpule Dragon, whimsical drifter murderer,

and thick daddy Superman. You think they were hoping to scare people to run inside the stores?

I don't know. The point is retailers depended on a big Christmas shopping season and we're

willing to do whatever it took to make it as long as possible. In fact, during the Great Depression,

they even lobbied President Franklin Roosevelt to move Thanksgiving a week earlier to allow for

more Christmas shopping. And after his cousin finished giving him a hand job, FDR agreed.

Eventually, they moved Thanksgiving back, but the retailers got what they wanted because over the

next few decades, more and more people began their Christmas shopping the day after Thanksgiving.

But the first time the day was called Black Friday was in the 1960s. It was actually coined by

the Philadelphia Police Department because the day brought tons of traffic in chaos. And for

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