The Big NATO Summit starts today and with it comes a brand new narrative that they would love to impose upon us.

This is the propaganda reports drive time. Newsblast, I'm Brad Binkley top story today.

Which tech billionaire has the bigger penis?

I'm kidding obviously that's not the top story but if you want my opinion

lizards which most people assume Zuckerberg is probably don't have very big penises. I'm guessing I've never actually gotten in the mud

and flipped over a bunch of geckos and gotten out the magnifying glass to do an examination myself.

I just think it's safe to assume that they're probably very tiny. Although, if we accept the assumption that Zuckerberg is in fact a lizard, he's not just any lizard, he's a shape shifting lizard, which means he can

probably form his wand into any size he wants.

I, however, do not believe that Zuckerberg is a lizard.

I believe he's a robot, which means he probably doesn't have any genitalia at all.

His crotch probably looks like the crotch of a naked kendol, except metallic.

As for Elon, I've just always kind of assumed that he had his removed a long time ago and replaced

it with a self-driving EPP, electric-powered penis. I have no idea how big those are. I just know that you can

disable them by placing an orange cone on them. I did read in Forbes magazine that he was

originally going to go with an SPP solar-powered

penis but he wanted something that could work indoors. Solar's just not great for a

lot of things. Okay so that was the stupid yet mildly entertaining story from

Elon Musk yesterday. Now let's talk about the actual top story of the day which on

the surface might seem very serious and different from that Elon Musk story, but in actuality is just

another Dick Measuring contest story, except this one is it between two socially awkward tech

billionaires, it's between nations. And of course, what Is it between two socially awkward tech billionaires?

It's between nations.

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