Amazon offers employees up to £8,000 for education and training, like Juliet.

She's now a trained technician. And to her, the sound of machinery in need of repair,

reminds her of how far she's come. In two years, she's landed her dream job, providing her with valuable skills.

That's up to £8,000 for education and training at Amazon. Eligibility conditions apply. Before we get to some news stories, let's do this.

Greg's leftovers. Greg's leftovers.

It's leftovers.

Where I read the jokes we didn't use this week, and as always, it's my first time reading them,

so if they suck, we'll give Joe Mackie a prostate exam with a nail gun.

Ouch.

This week, Congresswoman Ilhan Omar told a reporter for the daily caller to F off.

Seriously, Ilhan, do you kiss your brother with that mouth?

A company claims are coming out with leather purses made from 66 million-year-old dinosaur DNA.

Finally, a purse that matches my face, says one woman.

According to court documents, illegal immigrant, Kilmar Abrago Garcia, allegedly bragged that he could kill his wife and get away with it.

Well, that's awful. Do you have his number? asked one man.

A group of Trenda-Aragua gangbangers spelled out SOS at a Texas detention center.

President Trump responded by hiring a pilot to write this.

Thank you. And you know he will after he sees this.

Disney's Star Wars show and or will introduce lesbian characters to the series.

In a related story, they're also introducing the world's first vibrating lightsaber.

Yesterday at the International Space Station, the fifth all-female spacewalk took place. Their first mission, spent six hours looking for some place to have brunch.

Oh, I don't mind waiting.

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