Today's new book Paper Boy. To order time for the Howie Car Show.

99% of the continental US will see at least a partial solar eclipse this afternoon.

The solar eclipse is like a woman breastfeeding in a restaurant.

It's free, it's beautiful, but under no circumstances should you look at it.

Totality, as they call it, will last at least three minutes. That is enough time to listen to a good chunk of

total eclipse of the heart or total eclipse of the fart.

Live from the Matthews Brothers studios. But there is this narrative being pushed out there a little bit

that the years prior to President Biden's administration were better for the economy.

You couldn't buy toilet paper sometimes?

He's a comfort hoarder.

As soon as he takes the oath, he would say now, I'm the king of the fucking world.

I'm the king of the fucking world. I'm the king of the world.

It's fairly unlikely.

I know it because I know what mental illness looks like.

Yes, that is accurate. Rump swabs, hacks and moon bats beware. It's...

How a car? a car.

844, 542, 4242, 844, 542,

we're not getting many text messages today.

We're having some technical difficulties down here, but we're working on it. And you know, everything's fine other than the text messages and few other little problems but we're okay.

I just mentioned that they pull the troops out of Con Yunus, the Israeli troops and people were saying that, you know, that the pro-Hamas U.S. government

had forced Israel to stop in its war to defeat Hamas by destroying it once and for all.

But Netanyahu today is responding to that and he today announced just a couple hours ago that

...