Bickering, Kindness, and the Deep Roots of Love
The Allender Center Podcast
The Allender Center
4.7 • 648 Ratings
🗓️ 5 September 2025
⏱️ 46 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Marriage isn't only shaped by the big events and ruptures—it's also shaped by the little things. The small arguments that seem to surface again and again, the shifts in family roles as children grow up and move out, and even the physical changes that come with aging can quietly wear away at a relationship if left unspoken.
In this episode of the Allender Center Podcast, Dr. Dan and Becky Allender are joined by Dr. Steve and Lisa Call to revisit the topic of marriage following the release earlier this year of their book, The Deep-Rooted Marriage.
Together, they name the everyday tensions—like bickering over household tasks or navigating the emotional weight of an empty nest—that can strain a relationship.
More importantly, they share how couples can stay "buoyed together" through kindness, curiosity, and honest conversation. From asking simple questions like "What's going on for you?" to practicing story work that helps us understand the deeper histories beneath our conflicts, this conversation offers hope and guidance for cultivating resilience and intimacy in marriage.
Whether you're facing small resentments, major life transitions, or simply longing for more connection, this episode invites you to consider how kindness, curiosity, and story work can deepen your relationship.
Please Note: This episode contains some mature language; listener discretion is advised.
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | Thank you for listening to the Allender Center podcast. |
| 0:06.7 | I'm Dr. Dan Allender. |
| 0:08.7 | And I'm Rachel Clinton-Centen. |
| 0:10.5 | We're fiercely committed to providing hope and healing to a fragmented world. |
| 0:14.7 | And restoration for the heart. |
| 0:17.2 | Thank you for joining us. |
| 0:18.5 | Let's get this conversation started. |
| 0:29.2 | Thank you for joining us. Let's get this conversation started. Well, it is a joy, always fun, to join my dear friends, Stephen Lisa Call, with my beloved wife, Becky, we are going to talk about bickering. |
| 0:42.2 | Well, complaining, negativity, or so often what seems to happen when couples have certain energy differences that come in the context of how we handle routine activities in the house. |
| 1:03.0 | So, yeah, this is a reflection on deep-rooted marriage. |
| 1:06.3 | But Stephen Lisa, welcome. |
| 1:08.9 | Thank you. |
| 1:09.4 | Thank you. |
| 1:10.4 | I don't know if it's a compliment that the topic is bickering in and you invited us, but we won't take it too personal. Well, just a quick question. I mean, do you guys bicker? Never. You asked me that the other day, I think. You asked, do we bicker? My first response was, no, I don't think so. But then the more we... All day long, we've been bickering. So we were like, I guess we do. We bickered this morning. We bickered last night. Like, oh, I guess it's way more familiar than we thought it was. That's hilarious. And, you know, you did critique me using a word that you said came up in the 40s and 50s. |
| 1:46.8 | I did. |
| 1:47.8 | I don't think I've heard the word in a while. |
| 1:49.8 | So I don't know. |
| 1:50.6 | Maybe it's just like a... |
| 1:51.8 | Yeah, I have to look at the origin or where it came from. |
| 1:54.4 | But it's, I guess, how we would describe what was occurring for us last night. |
| 1:58.7 | Like, we had an incident where we got this pizza oven and we decided to make some pizzas outside |
| 2:06.1 | as outdoor pizza oven and. |
... |
Please login to see the full transcript.
Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from The Allender Center, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.
Generated transcripts are the property of The Allender Center and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.
Copyright © Tapesearch 2026.