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Bible Belt.

I believe in God.

I'm sorry if that doesn't settle well with you,

but he and I get along pretty good.

In fact, except for the lottery misunderstanding a few weeks ago,

I've never had a problem with him.

In Sunday school, my teacher used to say God was invisible,

which was then followed by speculative questions from

nine-year-old philosophers with crippling sugar addictions.

If God's invisible, asked nine-year-old me, why don't people bump into him sometimes?

Because, sweetie, he lives in the sky. Okay, so do birds fly into him? He lives in outer space. Well, how about rockets?

God avoids rockets. Do astronauts know God? No, well, well, maybe. Do you think my daddy will

ever buy me a pony? Sunday school teachers are equipped to deal with such ethereal-minded questions as part of the rigorous training they undergo before earning their B.5 hairdos.

But I'm preaching to the choir. If you grew up in the Bible Belt, you already know God isn't what some folks think he is.

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