BI BAM BINNOBENT BOF BALL BARGES | Caligula (Part 2)

Fin vs History

Fin Taylor & Horatio Gould

Comedy

4.7 • 990 Ratings

🗓️ 30 October 2025

⏱️ 55 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Caligula makes a miraculous recovery from his deathbed, only to re-emerge madder, bloodier, and Chinese-ier than ever. The show for people who like history but don't care what actually happened. For weekly bonus episodes, ad-free listening and early access to series, become a Truther and sign up to the Patreon ⁠patreon.com/fintaylor CHAPTERS: 00:00 Caligula Bounces Back 05:07 Boss Bemp and Bordon Ramsey 09:10 You’ve Pushed My Incest Button 14:58 Please Just Wipe Me 18:17 Male Bonnie Blue 23:53 Caligula’s Humiliations and Punishments 31:18 Deep Sea Pum 37:03 God of Boners and Pub Snacks 40:40 Toiletbaiting 46:19 Assassination Plot 49:53 Chinese Paedo Lasagne Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome back to Finn versus History.
0:14.6	I'm joined by Arachio Gould.
0:17.0	And this is part two in our romp through the life of Caligula.
0:21.6	The Chinese paedophile.
0:22.6	The Chinese paedophile Roman emperor.
0:25.1	If this is the first episode you've ever listened to, pause.
0:29.0	Go back to episode one.
0:30.2	This one needs quite a lot of context.
0:32.7	Caligula is a young man who has been emperor of Rome for 10 months where he had a stroke and woke up
0:38.5	with a Chinese accent and he was a paed a we think we think we don't know we don't know we made
0:43.0	up to be fair we're adding about as much of this as Suetonius is right we're modern day
0:47.5	surtoniuses we are yeah we're Graham Hancocking it exactly I mean a Chinese voice
0:52.0	I mean yeah we can we cannot slag off Sironius because he was just famous history for the Roman era. Exactly. It's just salacious, unfounded bollocks. Yeah. We're having fun with it. He's having fun with it. It's history fan TV. It is. When was Sueton? How long after Caligula's reign was Suetonius written? 28 years. Oh yeah. So. Yeah, bollocks. Who knows? Yeah. Who fucking knows. Load of bollocks. So we left off in the last episode, Caligula was on his deathbed, gravely ill, and people thought he was going to die. Yeah. And he comes back crazier than ever. So they line up a successor. Now I have to apologize and said that I may have jumped the gun on some of the narrative. Right. I may have got something wrong here. Impossible. I don't believe it. Well, Gamelas, who Tiberius had appointed joint successor with Calicula. Yeah. Calicula did not kill, it hasn't killed him yet. But you've already told people. Yeah, yeah, that he died earlier. But he hasn't. He hasn't. He's still alive. And so they line up Gamalas, his cousin. His cousin? Has that ever happened on a history podcast? You know that in the first half of it, I said he wasn't dead.
2:01.1	You know how I said he had a Chinese accent?
2:02.5	I probably didn't.
2:05.2	Caligula suddenly recovers.
2:07.8	He makes a miraculous recovery.
2:09.8	Miracrous recovery.
2:13.4	But maybe he sounds like that.
2:14.8	We don't know.
2:15.2	We can't know.
2:16.0	We can't know.
	...

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