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That's what I'm saying, like it's it's almost as if like a lot of these churches and I theorize that there's like there's some kind of there's some kind of

hypnosis or something that goes on that's entailed there because you know when

what we're looking any person because, you know, when we're looking,

any person in their, you know, normal, rational mind would, would hear what that pastor said

and kind of be like, you know, you can go fuck yourself is basically where I would be, I would

be on that.

As a naive child, though, you know, these people.

I mean, I was a child.

I was 21 years old and certainly not, like, mentally an adult in my mind.

I still feel like I was pretty much a child then.

So, yeah, I was taught to trust these people.

So, you know, if a pastor tells you,

you know, this is what you do, that's what you do. I mean, in that culture, that's just what you

do, right? So, yeah, it took me a while to get through that. And I, you know, I started to hate God.

And eventually, you know, I got to where I couldn't even step foot in a church

because it was just too, it brought back too many memories.

And I hated being there.

And, you know, I didn't like the people because when I would talk about the things that happened, you know,

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