The first time I saw the Animatronic Santa Claus, it was early November.

My wife and I had gone to the Big Box Hardware Store to pick up some cardening soil and new knobs for our kitchen cabinets.

I hate being an adult sometimes. It didn't surprise me to find

Christmas decorations already displayed prominently near the entrance. The robotic Santa Claus

was sitting there on a throne, greeting us as we came in.

Its eyes moved back and forth without any discernible pattern, and it waved at us rigidly

in greeting, turning its head and look at us as we approached.

Eyes focusing on ours for just a second, then moving away.

What a creepy-looking Santa Claus, I said to my wife.

Who would ever buy that? It looks like something out of a nightmare.

The Santa Claus got more frightening as we got closer to it.

Despite its movements looking a bit stiff and robotic, it was a little too realistic for my liking.

The way the eyes are moving around, randomly, almost sporadically, looked a bit like a mental patient's gaze

as they looked around with paranoia.

His pale skin was almost human, but not quite, and I once again wondered who would ever purchase such a thing.

I assumed it was for sale, but saw no price tag. I mostly just wanted to get away from it.

We got out to the garden section and walked by cacti and succulents.

Hey, look, they've got moon cactus, just like the one we've got.

I said to my wife, walking by the ones with a pink-blossom-looking cacti on top.

You know that's just two cactuses glued together.

What? My mind. You know that's just two cactuses glued together?

What?

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