Between Friends: Your Stories About Race and Friendship

Death, Sex & Money

Slate Podcasts

Business, Health & Fitness, Society & Culture, Careers, Relationships, Sexuality

4.6 • 7.6K Ratings

🗓️ 22 January 2020

⏱️ 48 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

"Your white friend can just make one comment and it feels like a trap door has opened up from underneath," one listener told us when we asked for stories about race and friendship. "And I’m thrust back into the realities of living in a racist America." Today: Your stories about when race became a flashpoint in your friendships. Tomorrow, we'll share an episode from our partners at the NPR podcast Code Switch, featuring expert advice on navigating those flashpoint moments around race—and explaining why it's so hard to make, and maintain, cross-racial friendships. Want to reflect on your own friendship patterns? Take our survey at deathsexmoney.org/friendship. Afterward, you can see how other people have responded to the survey questions, and we'll also send you a recommended reading list. And, as always, you can sign up for our newsletter by going to deathsexmoney.org/newsletter. Every Wednesday we'll send you behind-the-scenes updates, podcast listening recommendations, and some pretty incredible listener letters from our inbox. Follow our show on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram @deathsexmoney. Got a story to share? Email us any time at [email protected].

Transcript

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0:00.0	Often throughout our friendship I've had the experience of this sense that you're on
0:07.8	really solid footing in the relationship there's a lot of trust and love there which
0:11.8	there is but but then, you know, your white friend can just make one comment and it feels
0:18.8	like a trap door has opened up from underneath me and, know I'm thrust back into the realities of
0:26.1	living in a racist America.
0:30.3	This is death, sex and money.
0:34.8	Friendship is our only social relationship that is purely voluntary.
0:39.0	The show from WNYC about the things we think about a lot.
0:42.6	It is only by mutual agreement and need to talk about more.
0:46.5	And someone can just walk away at any time.
0:49.2	I'm Anna Sale. Krasana White was one of the people who wrote in when I asked for your stories about
0:56.4	when race became a flashpoint in a friendship.
1:00.0	Sarah and I, we've been talking about our friendship in terms of race and I think it really started after I had my bachelorette and I didn't invite her
1:09.0	Kressana's black and everyone she did invite to her bachelorette party is also black.
1:14.0	She wasn't sure if Sarah, her close friend and coworker, would fit in.
1:18.0	She's the only white woman, she's a little older than us,
1:21.0	I don't want people to have to feel like they have to filter themselves
1:25.4	because she's here.
1:27.8	And I was like, it just may be easier to not invite her.
1:32.2	Do you remember feeling like you needed to explain why she wasn't invited?
1:35.0	I did.
1:36.0	And what did you say?
	...

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