Best Of: What Turns You On?

Sex With Emily

Health & Fitness, Sexuality

4.2 • 6.7K Ratings

🗓️ 7 July 2023

⏱️ 36 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

When it comes to turn ons, we’ve all got our preferences. Maybe you love a deep, sexy voice. Maybe a wicked sense of humor. But there are five sexual arousal styles that apply to most people: you can think of them as the five love languages for sexual excitement. They are: conversation, visuals, touch, play or physical adventure. In this popular Best Of episode, I break down the five styles and how to identify your top one. I share tips for harnessing your arousal, with date ideas and behaviors to spark your sexual curiosity. I also help you understand the key difference between arousal and desire, and take your arousal questions, including: what do you do when medication is numbing your genitals? And when you’re more excited for solo sex than partnered sex – is that a problem?

Show Notes:

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ORDER MY NEW BOOK! Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure
Article: These Are The 5 Arousal Styles. Which One Are You?
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Transcript

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0:00.0	A lot of us experience the spontaneous desire at the beginning of a relationship, the honeymoon
0:08.3	phase, everything is new and exciting and every time you see a partner you can't wait
0:11.6	to rip their clothes off.
0:13.0	But for many of us responsive desire is what we sort of settle into and that happens
0:17.4	in a relationship over time or just in our lives over time and in no way again means you
0:21.8	are not attracted to your partner.
0:27.0	You're listening to Sex with Emily.
0:29.2	I'm Dr. Emily and I'm here to help you prioritize your pleasure and liberate the conversation
0:34.6	around sex.
0:36.5	Do you know your rousal style?
0:38.4	Well, by the end of today's episode, you'll have a better understanding of what you
0:42.5	required to get your brain and body on board for better sex.
0:46.9	Enjoy this episode.
0:52.9	In today's episode, we're looking at a sexy but often misunderstood aspect of the sexual
0:58.8	experience, rousal and specifically the elements that get you aroused for sex.
1:05.1	The reason I say it's misunderstood though is because we have a tendency to conflate
1:09.4	a rousal with desire.
1:11.7	Now, the tool related, but there's a crucial difference.
1:16.5	Desire is a psychological wanting.
1:19.4	It's the space between this person is sexually appealing to me and will we have sex?
1:25.4	In other words, desire always entails a psychological gap between yearning and satisfaction.
1:31.3	To desire anything, be it a person or a piece of chocolate cake, there's always a beat
	...

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