Best of Brunch Talk: What To Do When They Don't Text Back

Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships

Yue Xu and Julie Krafchick

Relationships, Sexuality, Science, Social Sciences, Health & Fitness, Society & Culture

4.5 • 877 Ratings

🗓️ 18 February 2024

⏱️ 22 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

One of the worst feelings in dating is sending that text and only to be left on read 4 hours later....yup, you too? We're going back to our OG Brunch talk episode – the first one ever with a topic that continues to be top of mind. Join us as we discuss why we put so much weight on texting, how to get out of the anxiety cycle of waiting, and ways you can stop compulsively looking at your phone and live life! Got a question you need answered? Hit us up at [email protected] a question you need answered? Hit us up at [email protected] Follow us @dateablepodcast. Check out our website for more content, virtual live show dates, and merch. Join the Sounding Board at https://www.dateablepodcast.com/soundingboard This episode is sponsored by: Hinge: Download Hinge and try voice prompts today: https://hinge.co/ Factor: Get 50% America's #1 Meal Delivery Service at https://factormeals.com/dateable50 or use the code DATEABLE50 OneSkin: Get 15% your first OneSkin purchase with the code DATEABLE at oneskin.co Dateable is part of the Frolic Podcast Network. You can find more outstanding podcasts to subscribe to at frolic.media/podcasts WE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE is available for pre-order now: https://howtobedateable.com/ Meeting People IRL Kickstarter - CLOSES August 31st and get $10 OFF now through then! Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dateable-podcast/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi I'm Yui Shoe and I'm Julie Kraftchik.
0:02.8	We're active daters turn dating sociologist.
0:05.4	Here to dive into everything modern dating and relationships.
0:09.0	Welcome to the dateable podcast. podcast where we're going to dig into some of the questions that you all have been
0:24.0	sending in and we finally have the time and space to answer those questions so let's
0:29.8	start with our first one you ready for this Julie oh yeah this is a meaty brunch topic if you've had one.
0:35.3	Yeah get those mamoses ready guys. I've been in so many brunches where this pops up.
0:49.1	What do I do when they don't text back and I freak out to just give a little bit of background when they don't get text back within three to four hours of me texting them, I tend to freak out and make up stories in my head.
0:58.0	How do I stop doing that?
1:00.0	Oh my God, how many times have you shared that text thread at the broach table asking what's going on?
1:06.0	30 million times.
1:08.0	Everyone texts so differently.
1:10.0	Some people are glued to their phones.
1:11.0	Some people tend to turn off their phones
1:14.0	during the day sometimes. I know that's a rare breed but it does happen. The way
1:18.5	we interpret text is that we think the minute we send that text the other
1:22.4	person's gotten it.
1:23.4	So for some reason we make up the story that they're just intentionally staring at
1:27.6	your text and going, I'm going to wait.
1:30.3	I'm going to wait a little bit and that's not exactly the right way to think about this because you have no control of when and how they receive the text.
1:40.0	You could send the text and maybe they're, I don't know the shower on the toilet or they're at work and they see it five hours later you don't know
1:47.6	Ultimately we can only control how we how we control this situation like how we act and how we feel.
	...

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