You're listening to The Best of the Tom Bernard Show.com brought to you by Bradshaw and Bryant.

Who me?

Well, I'd like to know if I was married to a horror piece of shit.

You could just look at her license.

My. Special stripe.

That's amazing. Oh my gosh.

Coming by sweet-garned potatoes, onions, pickles.

It's not how you use them, sir.

It's really sickening that anybody would be into radio this much.

It is ungod-godam believable.

I think I'm going to hell.

I just realize that.

Thank you, Tom.

You're just delicious.

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Thank you to the bus drivers, truckers,

those keeping our grocery stores open, and everyone who goes above and beyond for others.

Thank you for being there when it matters. These are tough times for all of us, but we'll make it through,

and it's all because of you, standing together, weathering the storm, it's what Americans do best and it's how we've

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