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Worst Firsts with Brittany Furlan

Bert Kreischer Accidentally Joined the Russian Mob

Worst Firsts with Brittany Furlan

Brittany Furlan & Studio71

Comedy, Comedy Interviews, Society & Culture, Relationships

4.81.8K Ratings

🗓️ 10 March 2020

⏱️ 78 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

There was barely enough time to get to a few of comedian Bert Kreischer's stories on this week's episode! Bert, host of Bertcast, rattles off an impressive amount of worst firsts, starting with the time his teammate beat him and his friends up with a baseball bat, the time he thought his dad died, when Rolling Stone Magazine crowned him as Biggest Party Animal of the Country and it led him to a deal with Will Smith, his brief stint as a Russian mob gangster and way too many more to mention! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

Right. in the building. I'm saying it right, right?

0:13.0

So we're introducing him, my alcoholic friend, Gertresh, just kidding, he's not an alcoholic.

0:17.0

No, you know what's so funny is that I always say things, like I'm a, I've always been like a high-functioning alcoholic,

0:22.0

but I say things, then you talk to a real alcoholic

0:24.9

and they're like, I've been drinking for eight days straight, I wake up in the middle of night,

0:27.4

I have a bottle of vodka by the bed, and then I'm like, oh, I don't have your problem.

0:30.3

Like, I just like to have a bottle of wine before I go to bed that is a problem they say

0:35.2

but that's why I say I'm Midwest sober I'm like anywhere in the Midwest no one raises

0:39.8

an eyebrow to my drinking.

0:41.3

They're just like he's normal Yeah, and then you come out to

0:43.6

Hollywood and you're like, sake bombs and you're like, yeah, we're at a

0:46.2

sushi restaurant. What the fuck did you expect? Jesus Christ. Yeah, no, I had a

0:50.6

friend, I had a friend, I won't say his name, but if you get him on his podcast he's pretty

0:53.6

fucking fascinating okay like we do this thing every year by the way I'm parroting everyone's gonna be

0:58.6

like Bert you've said this a million fucking times it's okay I we do this thing

1:02.0

me Joe Rogan Tomskurra and archbir we do this thing me Joe Roggan Tomskura and Arshfeir we do this thing called sober

1:05.2

where we don't drink or do drugs for a month. Yeah yeah well when it started they it started on the premise that

1:11.2

they were asking how much I drank and I said and it's what pays the bills in podcasting

1:17.5

but also was a nightmare as I was honest I was really honest I said I have like you know like nine drinks a night and

1:24.1

night by the way that's what Joe said Tom sitting next to me knowing their doubles so

1:28.8

he's like they're 18 but then yeah and so then everyone's like you're gonna need a doctors you're gonna need an intervention they need to bring you off of alcohol. I was like hold on I don't drink all the time like like I've did there's definitely nights where I just go to bed so like that's why I always say

1:45.1

when you say you drink a lot when you meet someone that really drinks like like

...

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