Beowulf (1999)
Shat the Movies: 80's & 90's Best Film Review
Shat on Entertainment
4.6 • 1.7K Ratings
🗓️ 27 June 2023
⏱️ 57 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Remember when we covered "Mortal Kombat: Annihilation" and wondered why Christopher Lambert had be replaced as Raiden? This week, we got our answer: Shat The Movies' favorite Frenchman was busy filming "Beowulf."
On paper, this 1999 sci-fi adaptation of the Old English epic poem sounds like a disaster. In fact, movie commissioner Emmet in Orange had never even seen "Beowulf" when he requested a review.
Filmed on a $3 million budget, this Mortal Kombat-style action-adventure is loaded with anachronistic dialogue, comically odd weapons, overcomplicated gadgets, incredible cleavage and combat that mostly consists of doing flips.
This movie's plot armor makes "Game of Thrones" Season 8 seem reasonable. The soundtrack and bring-your-own-costume style feel like we've slipped into a 1990s Romanian rave, and watching poor Rhona Mitra seduce Christopher Lambert hurt our souls.
In this episode, we discuss the monster who could have been beaten by Kevin McCallister, the succubus who stepped right off the set of a Whitesnake video and how Big D gained 24 pounds in just four days of hanging out with Gene.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | I love Kyra, now eat my cold steely of traveling, bitch. |
| 0:24.4 | Welcome back to Chat The Movies, the podcast where we answer the question |
| 0:27.6 | with the movies we love and we were growing up really that good. |
| 0:30.3 | Have you ever caught yourself thinking, why don't the movies like they used to? |
| 0:33.4 | Can you still remember spending your Friday night searching for the perfect movie |
| 0:36.0 | rental of Blockbuster Video? Do you know what Blockbuster Video is? |
| 0:39.4 | If you answer yes and this is the podcast for you, I am one of your host Gene Lyons, |
| 0:43.3 | and alongside me is my co-host Big D Dick Ebert. |
| 0:46.0 | Good evening. Each week we take a look back in time and decide if our favorite film still holds up. |
| 0:50.4 | The movies we cover are chosen by you the listeners who generously commissioned the films you love. |
| 0:54.8 | If you'd like to see all the movies we have covered, |
| 0:56.7 | we'll cover one to choose one for yourself, please visit chatpod.com and have a look. |
| 1:00.9 | At the end of each podcast, we'll provide you the audience with a number of wipes each movie |
| 1:04.9 | takes to get off your respective butts. So thank you so much for listening. |
| 1:07.9 | If you have not already hit that subscribe button and share it with a friend, |
| 1:10.6 | it's how we help the podcast grow. |
| 1:12.5 | Additionally, subscribe to our sister podcast, chat on TV, |
| 1:15.8 | where we view TV series such as Westworld, Taboo, American Gods, Game of Thrones, |
| 1:20.2 | True Detective, Lovecraft Country, and Watchmen. |
| 1:22.3 | Find all the information and past episodes at chatpod.com slash TV. |
| 1:26.4 | And finally, if you'd like to hang out with us live, |
| 1:28.7 | you can subscribe to our YouTube channel. |
... |
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