Welcome to the Buddhist boot camp podcast.

Our intention is to awaken, enlighten, enrich, and inspire a simple and uncomplicated life.

Discover the benefits of mindful living with your host, Timber Hawkeye.

From a strictly evolutionary perspective, humans are social creatures who have survived as a species

by forming groups for safety, food, and cooperation.

But from a psychological standpoint, despite our brains being hardwired for connection,

trauma rewires us for protection.

This leaves many of us simultaneously desperate to belong, yet feeling isolated and lonely.

So what do we do? Some people go through a phase or an entire

lifetime, pretending to be something they are not in an attempt to appease their need for connection

and inclusion. I never thought I would need to share details of my adolescent goth stage in

order to illustrate a point, but here we go.

On the outside, I looked the part, with black nail polish and eyeliner listening to The Cure,

but I was a fraud, secretly listening to R&B and hip-hop when my friends weren't around.

And since nothing makes us feel more alone than our secrets, if we lie about who we are in order to be liked, while we fulfill our need for acceptance,

we sacrifice our greater need for authenticity.

It's like drinking poison just because you are thirsty, or setting yourself on fire to

keep others warm.

Buddhism acknowledges the importance of community

as biologically necessary and even essential for our well-being. That's why the Sangha is the third jewel.

But the Buddha did warn us of the ego's tendency to take it a step too far and tie our individual identity to a group mentality.

That's why those who experienced rejection or abandonment in childhood are more susceptible

...