Befriending the man who killed my family
The Documentary Podcast
BBC
4.3 • 2.7K Ratings
🗓️ 8 May 2026
⏱️ 27 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Thirty years after the genocide against the Tutsi in Rwanda, some convicted perpetrators are returning to the communities they once devastated. Felin Gakwaya travels to eastern Rwanda to meet both survivors and perpetrators living side by side again. He hears from Daniel Gasangwa, who went to visit the men who killed members of his family after they were released from prison — and told them not to be afraid, because they had been forgiven. He also meets Steven Ngabonziza, whose own path to forgiveness came not first through church, but through war, prison discipline and the slow work of reconciliation. And he hears from Viateur Ruribikiye, a perpetrator who now speaks of confession, repentance and God’s pardon. Through their stories, which include discussions of violence and loss, the programme explores forgiveness not as an abstract idea, but as something lived out in villages, churches, homes and memories that have not gone away. This episode of The Documentary, comes to you from Heart and Soul, exploring personal approaches to spirituality from around the world.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | BBC Sounds, Music, Radio, Podcasts. |
| 0:07.0 | If you need help on money matters, you're not alone. |
| 0:10.5 | In the Martin Lewis podcast, I'll give you tips to keep more cash in your pocket |
| 0:13.9 | and answer your important questions. |
| 0:16.7 | Now that we're starting from scratch, what is the best way for us to move forward? |
| 0:21.2 | To help your everyday finances just add up, let's see what we can do. |
| 0:26.2 | The Martin Lewis podcast, listen on BBC Sounds. |
| 0:30.4 | This program contains discussions of violence and loss, which some listeners may find upsetting. |
| 0:38.9 | Definitely. They are the ones to kill my family. |
| 0:42.3 | Among the recent released prisoners, how many perpetrators did you recognize? |
| 0:47.7 | I recognize four. |
| 0:49.9 | In Rwanda, some men convicted over the genocide have now returned home after decades in prison. |
| 0:56.8 | For those who survived, that return raises difficult questions, not only moral questions, but spiritual ones too. |
| 1:04.7 | How do you live alongside someone who helped destroy your family? |
| 1:13.5 | I even paid them a visit in their homes. |
| 1:17.0 | Someone told me about it, and I went to see them, and we had a chat. |
| 1:21.5 | I told them to be strong and assured them that what happened in our country will never happen again. |
| 1:28.1 | That is what I told them. |
| 1:29.9 | You've said that when you went to see them, you told them to be strong. |
| 1:33.5 | Why? |
| 1:35.6 | Because we have forgiven them and that nothing else can happen after forgiveness. |
| 1:41.1 | You are listening to the documentary from the BBC Word Service. |
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