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Frank Club 2021. As you know, I am the author, producer, vocal artist, songwriter, costume designer, lighting director, sound artist, key grip, and best boy for the hit podcast. BeBot Tales.

BeBot Tales has won many awards. So many, just many, many, just so many, too many awards to name right now, so I won't even bother just it was many.

Regardless, I have been kept off the microphone for too long by one John Aham H. Messingham. What does the H stand for? Ham.

But do you really know who this John Aham, Ham, Messingham really is? Does anybody really know him? Well, for today's episode of BeBot Tales, we're actually going to do a Johnny Tales.

I'd like to tell you a little bit about a book that I have been writing. We know Jonathan's been talking all about his books, but I have been writing a much more fun, much more interesting, much more journalistic book on John Aham.

It's called a B-Popipedia. It's an encyclopedia of sorts, a book that I've been writing for years now with various entries all about John Aham.

I've tried submitting these entries to Wikipedia on the internet, but the citizen editors there keep taking them down. Whatever. I'm going to assume that's because Jonathan isn't important enough, not because these contain weird lies and jokes.

Okay, so today I am releasing the B-Popipedia on this podcast. This is all about Jonathan. So if you've ever read an encyclopedia before, you know it's alphabetical and there are various entries.

So like if you went to D and you want to learn about deer, there's an entry under D for deer. You can read all about deer. That sort of thing. So this is alphabetical. So let's see.

Should I go just A to Z or should I skip around? Let me just flip through the pages and see what I can get randomly here.

T, let's see. Trombone, comma, terrible players. That sounds like Jonathan. Tiny nostrils. That should probably be under N nostrils, comma, tiny.

Jonathan has very tiny nostrils if you didn't know that. Let's see, tail. Many do not know that Jonathan messenger has a tail. It is very small and covered in lizard scales. And if he gets angry, it stands up straight and pokes out the back of his shirt.

It is unpleasant to look at. And if he is asked about it, he will deny it. That is very true. Okay, let's see. Let's look up another letter. We're just going to put my finger in somewhere. B.

Okay, we got butter fingers. That's about his baseball career. Buttertoes. That's about his soccer career. Butterflies. Oh, this is a good one.

When Jonathan was 27 years old, a group of entomologists, scientists who study bugs from the University of Chicago studied him because of a very peculiar behavior in nature.

Whenever a butterfly sees Jonathan, it cries. Jonathan denies it. All right, let's see what else we got here. What letter should I pick? Just randomly.

Gryffit, my partner in crime, gross. That entry is 45 pages long because Jonathan is so gross, but we can't get into that. Let's see. Oh, here's a good one.

I'm gambling. Jonathan is a terrible gambler. I once bet Jonathan $1,000 that I could pick him up and throw him out the living room window. He took the bet. But in all of my excitement, I forgot. I'd said the living room window. And instead I threw him out the kitchen window.

So technically he won the bet, but I don't use podcast planet money. So I never even paid him. Oh, in a terrible gambler. You should have seen his face as he went out the window. He was like a baby bird who hadn't yet learned to fly being nudged out of his nest or out of the window.

These are really breaking up some great memories. Let's see. Oh, another G entry here. Garbage. Jonathan is garbage. Oh, there's a little harsh.

All right, let's see what else we have here. See, care, care. I don't remember writing that one. Let's see.

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