Be My Guest: Dr. Mario Sacasa on Love as a Sincere Gift of Self
Ask Father Josh (Your Catholic Question and Answer Podcast)
Ascension
4.9 • 2.6K Ratings
🗓️ 21 May 2019
⏱️ 56 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
DISCLAIMER: Fr. Josh and Dr. Mario Sacasa dive deep into some of these topics including conjugal love and struggles with pornography. You may want to listen first and discern whether or not it is the right time for your child(ren) to listen.
Today Fr. Josh answers questions about sexual baggage, feeling guilty about NFP, the morality of pleasure outside the marital act, and dealing with a partner who watches porn.
If you have a question, comment, or response for Fr. Josh, email us at [email protected]. You may hear your question or comment in an upcoming podcast episode!
Snippet from the Show
“If you’re not already putting practices in place to grow in holiness and find freedom, then you’re not going to get married and all of a sudden have everything get better.”
SHOWNOTES
Glory Story (1:15)
Fr. Josh is celebrating five years of priesthood and spent some time with brother priests to celebrate everyone’s ordination! As they were celebrating, they shared something that pierced Fr. Josh’s heart and almost made him cry.
Listener Feedback (5:52)
Marital Pleasure (10:54)
Other than actual intercourse, is it wrong for married couples to enjoy physical pleasure with each other if they don't intend it to result in intercourse every time?
-Maddie
Sexual History (15:23)
How am I supposed to handle my boyfriend's sexual past, me being a virgin? It feels at times like I've been betrayed even though he didn't know me at the time. I also worry what it would mean for our marriage, not only regarding human insecurities but lost graces. The secular advice is "his past is none of your business" but I feel if we get married it will be my business.
-Confused Girlfriend
Pornogrogaphy in a Relationship (28:58)
How do you deal with porn in a relationship -- by that, I mean, it hurts to get months into a relationship with someone who is quite wonderful, then find out he struggles with a porn problem. But, mortal sins are also not a first date topic. And although I've heard some say you shouldn't date someone who has this problem, I don't find myself able to act on that advice, or even able to find a guy who doesn't struggle with this! On the other hand, it makes a relationship so hard to maintain... when you know your SO is looking at other girls, it makes you feel like your relationship is a lie, or maybe you're not worth very much. It puts distance and mistrust between you, and it doesn't help much to know, logically, that you're valuable, when you feel like you're not. I don't want to tell him never to talk about this with me, because I don't want to pretend it's not happening. But I also don't want to hear about it, because it hurts so much. I don't want to leave because I'll regret it, and as I said... the next guy will probably be dealing with the same thing anyway. I petition St. Jude for intercession because this seems so hopeless. What's a girl -- or guy -- to do?
-Anonymous
Struggles with NFP (40:51)
1.) My husband and I have been married for a little over 8 years and have 4 beautiful children (7, 5 1/2, 3 1/2, and 16 months), plus a couple more babies in Heaven that I miscarried. My struggle comes with practicing NFP. We have always used the Creighton Model, but I'm a yellow stamper (meaning my cycles aren't always as obvious) and I also have a history of low progesterone (hence the miscarriages) and have had to be on progesterone supplements for my last three pregnancies. That being said, I'm terrified of getting pregnant again. Don't get me wrong... I will be elated if I end up pregnant. I really want another baby. But due to several factors including financial restraints, having an extremely small house, and still having low progesterone where I could end up miscarrying again, my husband and I are currently "trying to avoid". I realize we don't need to have a dozen kids to make it into Heaven (though not there's anything wrong with that), but I feel guilty any time my husband and I want to be intimate and I can't tell if I'm fertile or not. Part of me feels like it’s best for us to avoid right now, but then part of me wonders if that's being closed off to God and not welcoming any children He has planned (because obviously His plans are infinitely better than mine). I just feel this huge amount of guilt and frustration either way. We are working with our NFP coordinator to figure out my cycles, but until then, it's a lot of "Well you could've used those days" (which doesn't help us after the fact), or feeling guilty that I am disappointing my husband for having to abstain so much or worried that my attitude is disappointing God. Besides bearing my cross and continuing to meet with my NFP coordinator, do you have any advice?
-Wife and Mother
Resources
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | What's up and welcome to Ask Father Josh the Podcast where I get to listen to your questions, pray with them and hopefully respond in such a way that it's helpful for you and your walk with Jesus and your walk toward eternity and your walk toward becoming the particular saint that God our Father desires for you to be. |
| 0:14.0 | If you're first time listener, I want to encourage you to send me your own questions, your comments, your critiques from this show and for future episodes as well as radios and review us on iTunes and other podcast formats so that other people can find out about the show if it's a gift for you. |
| 0:27.0 | Then potentially it can become a gift for other people as well. |
| 0:31.5 | On today's show we have a special guest one of my very good friends Dr. Mario, and the Archdiocese in New Orleans, the host of the amazing podcast always hope is our special guest and he's just a guru when it comes to relationships when it comes to dating when it comes to things that I can only scratch a surfers on but he can go really deep into those areas of life. |
| 0:53.0 | So he's going to share his wisdom with us on topics dealing with guilt and actually family planning, pornography, marital pleasure and the sexual act and also dealing with our our boyfriends or girlfriends sexual past their history that preceded us in our relationship with them. |
| 1:11.0 | So stay tuned for those amazing topics before we get into those topics we're going to share the Lord's story. |
| 1:17.5 | So my glory story this week comes from some time I got to spend with my brother priest recently we were out celebrating our anniversaries of our ordination I make five years this year and they made four years and so we're we're having dinner together and one of them share something with me that just pierced my heart and I almost cried but I didn't but I could have cried and I told myself I'm going on silent retreat next week and so I told myself I'm on silent retreat if it comes up I'm open to crying. |
| 1:46.0 | Then I'm just too busy to cry right now but it was really cool so my buddy told me said hey so I have something to share with you that my mom told me that she heard from her friend about your daddy and I was like what you're about my daddy right because I'm talking about daddy now but it was it was good news so basically what that happened was is a number of years ago maybe 40 plus years ago my dad when he was a cop was at the bank one day and he was shot in the back of the head by this guy who wanted to rob the bank and so the guy was like point blank shot him in the back of the head and it's miraculous because the bullet hit my daddy in his head. |
| 2:16.0 | And it ricocheted off his head hit the bank teller in her temple and both my dad and the woman survived who got hit by the bullet bullets so my dad then fell to the ground got up thoughts on my punch them and said what happened they said so you've been shot so he chased the guy I think he was able to get a bullet in the guy's |
| 2:33.0 | push and the guy got away and got the Chicago got caught Chicago came back and he's been in Angola ever since and so he's been in goal for all these years and recent my dad got a letter saying hey this guy is up for parole we just want to let you know in case you want to fight against it and so my dad went to court and the guy it seemed as if he wasn't you know going to get off and my dad set up on his be out to say look I forgive this guy this man he shot me so many years ago and I just want you to know sir I |
| 3:02.9 | forgive you and if I could forgive him I don't see why y'all can't forgive him as well he's done his time in prison I think you actually let him go now I knew that part of the story so my dad told me that part of the story and that's where he stopped what my buddy part of Brad told me was the rest of the story which is my dad then went on to say because after I survived that gunshot wound eventually I received one of the greatest gifts I've ever gotten from God which is my son Josh and I'm I'm able to be my that's my son and I'm a bit of father and and just when he said that |
| 3:32.9 | and I just I was like wait what my dad said that in court and he said yeah he said that court it's like document you can probably look it up it's record and so I um I just was like my heart was pierced I said my dad I I know my dad loves me he's told me that but the fact that he said that in court is like anyways mine was blown heart was shattered and I was just like oh man shoot I can cry right now but I didn't so when I go on summer treat me about cry with the Lord but it is something about the father's blessing you can find your podcast can't you I can't yeah that's um let's just go back to that memory right now and I'm going to tell you how much I'm gonna do that I can only get you to know that I'm going to do the job and I just want to get you to know that I'm gonna be going to do that you can do that you can do that I can do that you can do that you can do that I'm gonna do that you can do |
| 4:02.9 | and see if it comes up yeah but no but the father's blessing so powerful I remember years ago Mario I didn't introduce you yet but hey Mars on the show |
| 4:11.3 | hey everybody what about he's one of my best friends and just a good good guy and um but my years go when I was in seminary my dad called me one day left me a voicemail |
| 4:20.4 | and then something similar he just left me a voicemail was like hey Josh I just want you know I love you very much and I'm so proud of your dad |
| 4:26.1 | and that day I I kind of got into some not trouble but like some issues with some my information or whatever came up and they had a different |
| 4:35.9 | perspective and I had on certain thing or whatever and they let me know that they are disappointed in me and honestly God truth I was like I don't care |
| 4:43.6 | why my daddy loves me yeah I got to follow his blessing so it's cool we'll get over you know and that's not the best |
| 4:49.3 | attitude they have as far as you know respect with um superior but at the same time the father's blessing |
| 4:54.2 | it dictated the way that I received um that that those words from the people that I received them from soon and |
| 5:00.2 | ways it's all good awesome yeah right awesome crazy relationships hold on to that uh that voicemail oh for uh oh I might still have it actually |
| 5:08.9 | I was gonna say there's a few voicemails I have saved um my mom is sending you some beautiful ones as well in the past um and yeah so that |
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