Two hopeless daters.

One dating app that dares you to swipe right.

The question is, whose love life is more tragic.

It's battle of the Tinder Dates.

It's the dating game show that thinks the little blue pill is for wimps.

What?

Real men swallow the extra jumbo-sized magenta horse pill off the dark web.

To what men take, it's Battle of the Tinder dates.

I'm scared.

Where two of our listeners go head to head to find out whose dating life is the most tragic.

We'll explain the rules in just a second, but first, let's meet today's contestants.

In this corner, she treats her dating life like a visit to Cisler, because she always goes

back for seconds and thirds and fourths. That's why they call her buffet, Leah.

All right, Leah, you feel that plate, girl.

Okay.

Yeah, it's a popcorn shrimp up in it.

And in the other corner, her top five celebrity hall passes are all dead U.S. presidents.

Oh, wow.

And they've got an open invitation to haunt her in her sleep anytime.

Meet POTUS Lois.

Got a thing for white wigs? Oh, you like these wooden teeth? Is she there? Is she getting haunted as we speak? Hello. I'm here. Okay. She's here. Okay. Here's how the game works. One contestant will start by telling one of their worst dating stories. Then the other will try and counter with a nightmare story of their own.

We're going to go back and forth for three rounds. So we declare a winner. Kicking things off with buffet Alea. Let's get it. Okay. A guy asked me hang out, but I had a mail appointment. And so he said that he would just meet me there. At the nail salon? Yeah. Okay. I show up. he's already there, and he's, like, holding court talking to, like, all these ladies. And then they tell me that I'm going to have to wait 20 minutes because he took my appointment. No. Oh. No. He's got a bunch of girlfriends, too. Oh, my God. That's a beautiful fingernails. I mean He's ready for the day. I mean, good for him.

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