Bari Mitzmann: My Fear of Hashem Was Destroying Me

Inspiration for the Nation with Yaakov Langer

Living Lchaim

Judaism, Religion & Spirituality

4.9 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 14 March 2026

⏱️ 69 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Inspiration for the Nation is the weekly Jewish podcast from Living Lchaim, hosted by Yaakov Langer.

Bari Mitzmann (Barianna) grew up in typical frum setting but life took a giant turn. Hear her powerful journey through religious anxiety, panic attacks, and a crisis of faith while growing up in the Orthodox Jewish world. From the outside she looked inspiring - building a social media following, leading communities, and encouraging others in their Jewish faith and observance. But behind the scenes she was living in constant fear that God was punishing her. In this raw conversation, Bari opens up about scrupulosity, mental health in Judaism, fear-based religion, therapy, and rebuilding a healthy relationship with Hashem. This episode explores how faith, mental health, and personal growth intersect and how honest conversations can help people struggling silently.

Transcript

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0:00.0	One Shabbas, I was having an absolute meltdown.
0:03.5	And I ended up calling a hotline on Shabbas because I needed to calm myself down.
0:11.1	My mental health was really suffering.
0:13.5	And it was a situation where I knew that, like, you should call and get help.
0:18.4	And then my husband, like, ran to get a rub of mine just so that we could talk.
0:23.8	And he comes in and I shared everything that I never shared with anyone about different
0:31.2	experiences I had and what was going on.
0:34.7	And simply put, he's like, I'm surprised that you're here barry midsman looked
0:40.1	like she had it all together strong faith a growing platform and a life-inspiring thousands online
0:45.7	but behind the scenes she was trapped in a prison of anxiety and fear in this episode she opens up
0:51.6	about the moment everything broke and how she rebuilt her
0:55.2	relationship with faith, herself, and Hashem.
0:58.0	This is an episode for anyone who feels like at points they're living a lie.
1:01.7	This episode is a memory of Shemindavid bin Yaku Shlima and Miriam Sarabas Yaakov Moshe.
1:06.3	This episode is powered by Waleselis kosher.com, the OU Kosher's new podcast and Zaller Nutrition.
1:13.3	Now, before we jump in, while we have the fastest Jewish podcast in the world,
1:17.1	we notice that only three out of ten listeners are subscribed.
1:20.4	So please hit the follow button or subscribe button wherever you're listening to this,
1:23.9	and you have my word that I will do everything in my power to ensure that
1:27.6	we give you the best podcast episodes that you've never heard yet. I appreciate you all so much.
1:33.7	Here we go. Barry Mitzman, thank you so much for being here. Thank you for having me.
1:37.5	Okay, so there's a lot to talk about. Could you give us a picture of what your childhood was like
	...

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