Bamboozled by the three-hole teat
Off Air with Jane & Fi
The Times
4.6 • 1.1K Ratings
🗓️ 28 January 2026
⏱️ 57 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Normal programming resumes - Jane’s back, and there’s actually a guest. Jane and Fi discuss glove flirting, removing offspring from the phone plan, the resurgence of the butter dish, age-defining shopping, and whether there’s ever really a right time to don a fascinator.
Plus, evolutionary biologist Dr. Ben Garrod discusses cloning his dog Jack.
Our next book club pick is 'A Town Like Alice' by Nevil Shute.
Our most asked about book is called 'The Later Years' by Peter Thornton.
You can listen to our 'I'm in the cupboard on Christmas' playlist here: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1awQioX5y4fxhTAK8ZPhwQ
If you want to contact the show to ask a question and get involved in the conversation then please email us: janeandfi@times.radio
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Podcast Producers: Eve Salusbury
Executive Producer: Rosie Cutler
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | I don't know about you, Jane, but it's barely, well, it's six minutes past 12. I've exhausted. I've aged about a decade since I came back to work this morning. Anyway, look, there's lots going on. There is. We've just been on |
| 0:21.5 | a little tour and a practice sit-down in our new studio, which is downstairs in the bowels of |
| 0:28.6 | News UK. And that's where we're going to start having ourselves recorded in vision. |
| 0:34.3 | It'll be a treat for everybody, won't it? But whole fire, because it's not quite happening just yet. No. But it won't be long. It was quite exciting. But it was exciting. Jane, how was your mum's funeral? Yes, it's a... Thank you for asking. It's a big old question, isn't it? It is. I think it was a really good day. and if it is possible to enjoy a funeral |
| 0:56.9 | I mean obviously didn't enjoy them |
| 0:58.1 | because we couldn't get a slot in the crematorium |
| 1:01.4 | in the chapel there until three in the afternoon |
| 1:04.5 | so it's quite a long day |
| 1:05.7 | quite a long day building up to that |
| 1:07.7 | it was all a bit |
| 1:09.7 | that was peculiar but then we'd waited so long between, |
| 1:12.9 | I mean, she died on December the 21st, so it's a long, nearly five weeks to wait. I know people |
| 1:18.5 | have waited longer, but it did, that was, that was very stressful. Did you have that slightly |
| 1:24.7 | odd thing at crematoriums? And this isn't a criticism of crematoriums at all. |
| 1:29.3 | We're all going to end up in one. |
| 1:30.8 | Well, if we choose that form of departure. |
| 1:33.4 | I think the staff there do an absolutely amazing, amazing job, |
| 1:37.6 | given what they're dealing with on a daily basis. |
| 1:40.2 | But because crematoriums are very busy indeed, |
| 1:44.0 | you do arrive as somebody else's loved one is being departed, |
| 1:48.6 | and you do depart as somebody else's loved one is arriving. |
| 1:52.1 | And I don't know how you found that. |
... |
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