On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me a partridge in a pear tree.

And I said, well, thank you, my true love, but you know, a partridge is the kind of bird that makes its nest on the ground.

You wouldn't be likely to find one in a pear tree or any other kind of tree for that matter.

And my true love said to me,

Well, I didn't ask any questions. I thought of you when I saw it. I hope you like it.

And on the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree.

And I said, oh, good, more birds.

Tell me, why are they called turtle doves?

And I couldn't help noticing that you're giving me a duplicate of the partridge you gave me yesterday.

What's going on there?

And my true love said to me,

Look, if you don't like these gifts, now's the time to speak up, because we've got another 10 days of this.

And I said, no, no, just curious.

And I don't want to spoil the flow because I heard that in just a few days, I'm getting five gold rings.

And my true love said to me...

Yeah, about that.

You may have misheard.

What I really got you is five gold spinks. A gold spink is another kind of

bird. And I said, my true love, I have to admit, I don't even know what's going on here.

You're giving me all these birds, you're repeating gifts day after day, and what does it even

mean that there are 12 days of Christmas? Christmas is just one day. And if we keep it up like this with all the gifts, that means that by the end of 12 days,

I'm going to have 364 gifts total.

...